Lovers By Force

Chapter 12

Have you ever kissed someone in the dark, when your senses are taking control of your whole body? Have you ever lied to yourself to the point of denying all the red flags in your body, obeying to your inner sinner? I did.

Lust. I imagined my first kiss would be sweet and caring. But this one isn't. It is purely a carnal need. Each flick of his tongue is passionate, meant to own me. Each time our lips collide, we create a tornado of passion as he is branding his lips on mine. He sets my body to flame, as I uncovered new sensations. To the point where butterflies dance in my belly.

This kiss feels right. This kiss feels like two souls from the same essence, finding the missing parts of themselves and yet.... Something is incredibly wrong and dark as if the devil is poisoning my body. My lust emerges with chaos. This kiss isn't sweet. It isn't affectionate, nor pure. It's dark, dangerous, passionate. This wasn't Roman. I've lied to myself. And why don't I pull away?

-TOMS POV-

She knows it's me. Appearances Can lie and deceit. But a touch? A scent? No thats unique. You can't lie with that. Just as you can't deny your attraction for someone, no matter how hard you try. I shouldn't be kissing her. It's a mistake. But we both know we would be able to blame the masquerade for our reckless actions. But I needed to know how she would taste. And react to me... God was I wrong. I've never been weak. I've resisted countless temptresses who offered themselves to me. No, I don't play with a woman's heart.

I don't use them for my needs . Im in control of myself, I know if I give in to temptation, I will break me and her in the process. But her. Damn it. Her, I have an obsession to make her mine. To bend my rules. To be her very first. I need possession. Ownership. Devotion. Georg was right. Right now, I'm a caveman chasing his prey. Fuck. I stole her first kiss, yes. I stole her from her family. yes. Do I want to steal every first of her? Hell yes. Do I want to be her every last? Yes.

I'm damned. I've never been possessive, jealous or anything before. But her, she is stealing my control equally. Damage, that's the only thing we can do to each other. I need to stop this before I break both of us. "We need to stop..." I say out of breath. Or else I'll take another first of her tonight. And for our sake it's better not. I have little control remaining, and I'm not a gentleman. "Moonlight.." I said. "What?!" She pushes off against me, realizing what we've just done. "You! You kissed me!" She says pointing her finger at me, feeling a sense of deceit. "Last time I checked, I wasn't alone." I replied back to her. She pushes me, "I thought you were Roman! I can't believe you!" Bullshit. No way she didn't know it was me.

"You knew it was me" I said to her.

-LUNAS POV-

What did I do? Yes I knew. Yes, I lied to myself. A part of me desired for him to be my first kiss. And now I hate myself for kissing the villain. For falling right into his trap. He stole my first kiss, my life, my hope. And I've given that willingly to him. "you're a monster! You're repulsive to me" I shout at him. "Really? Look at what you did to me" he showed me his lower lip. I've bruised him. Bit him in my longing for him like an animal. What's happening to me?

"GET OUT" I say to him, anger filling my body.
"It's fine we don't have to talk about this. It was a mistake" he said to me, staring deep into my eyes. "Easy for you to say! It's a kiss! It means nothing for a man." I could feel myself tearing up. It was frustrating for me but it meant nothing to him. "You're wrong" he says. "Oh right, it's a male ego thing!" I say, my tears turning into tears of anger. "Well Kaulitz, you won't be the only Man I'm kissing tonight."

You won't win that battle. "Try I'll be watching" his tone is calm and yet feels like a threat. A warning. "Please go back to your dates" I said, his dates will do more than a kiss.. I felt sad. Why was it? "I won't be kissing other women"

what?

"Because I won't make the same mistake twice. Kissing you was a fucking mistake." And just like that, he leaves? "UGH I HATE HIM" I said as I walked away back towards the castle.

Walking towards the castle I see Roman, I was annoyed. Where had he been?
"Luna, I'm so sorry. An annoying rockstar wouldn't stop flirting with me.. creep... ready for your kiss princess?" He says, approaching me slowly. It was too late. But maybe I could try? I could see if I felt the same way? "Kiss me" I said, hoping for something more. But that kiss was the opposite of the one with Tom. It's tender. Sweet. I feel.... Nothing. It doesn't awake me. Don't get me wrong, it was nice, but it doesn't make me feel the same, crave the same way I did for Tom. It's not what I longed for. I push him back.

"Thank you" I said sighing in slight disappointment. "That.. was good" Roman said to me, slightly embarrassed. "Yeah! But let's stop here okay?" I said, smiling at him. "Of course" he chuckled. "I'm going to walk back inside to get a drink." Roman smiled, "yeah.. I have some business to take care of" I rolled my eyes and smiled "mafia business right?" He chuckled. "Something like that." As we walked inside we parted ways. My new objective was to get myself a drink... after all it was much needed after what had just happened...

"Looking for something" a familiar voice said to me. I turned around and saw Tom, I didn't feel like talking to him, let alone be anywhere near him. "I'm looking for Roman, he's taking me home" I replied back in a cold tone. I may have lied but I wasn't going to give Tom the satisfaction. "I Can take you home. I think your friend is busy" he said looking at me head to toe. "Just tell me where he is" I didn't want to play any games, and my heels were beginning to hurt. "I'll get him for you" Tom replied. "Why?" I said looking at him, why wouldn't he let me go get Roman? He analyzed me for a moment. Staring at me, almost telling me not to go. "Fine, he's upstairs, second floor. Don't tell me I didn't warn you." I just rolled my eyes. What was his problem?

-
I walk to the room Tom had indicated. As I opened the door I saw Roman... with a girl? "Oh my...." Roman noticed me, he quickly pulled away from the girl he was sucking face with just a second ago. "What are you doing here?" He said, obviously guilty. Just then the girl runs out of the room. "What?! I can't believe this!" I said, I wasn't aware what to feel first, anger? Or betrayal? "Sorry. this is embarrassing" he said trying to laugh it off. "It's more than that. I mean you literally just.. and you" "you shouldn't have witnessed that, sorry. But I'm a man, Luna. We have needs, it's nothing" "Nothing?" I shout out in anger. "You were literally getting hot and heavy with a woman and-"  "she's irrelevant. I just needed to cool down. Business is stressing me out and-" "I knew it! Men are all the same. Even you, you're just like them! And I had thought you liked me-" "And I do like you." He exclaimed.

"Look, I've been born into a world where we can't afford to catch feelings. Everyone has a place. Men have mistresses. What do you expect? Your future husband will probably go behind your back-" "ILL NEVER get humiliated like that." I said as angry tears filled my eyes. "I'm sorry, Luna. But this is how the world works. Good girls marry. The others-" "it's disgusting! Stay away from me." I said. I didn't want anything to do with Roman. "Luna listen I-"  "No. I thought you were better than them. Clearly, I was wrong." "Look, you're wife material so you'll be respected. But I'm telling you, a man will never commit to just one woman. We weren't raised for romance. Caring is already a weakness."

I stood there, heartbroken by his words. Was this true? Could it really be? "You cant be so naive Luna, you need to get used to the idea that your future husband will also-" "STAY away from me." I said as I ran off crying. I had enough of this nonsense. I ran off to a balcony, overseeing the world I knew so well. Skyscrapers, buildings of every size, street lamps at every corner. They shined bright. From afar it was beautiful. But this moment lead me to believe that I needed to stop being that good girl. Drinks on drinks I cried, and the more I drank the more I cried. I cried that love didn't exist in my world. I cried that what I thought would have been my fairytale night, ended up in a nightmare. I wasn't mad at Roman, hell I wasn't even sure I liked him as much as I thought I did. But I was mad at his actions. The way he treated woman, the mentality he had on them. The way we belonged to two categories: saints or sinners.

That love was a lie invented by men to make us submissive and weak to them. I climbed the balcony railing and sat on the cold metal bar, looking up to the sky. "Mom, I'm not sure I'm a believer. I don't believe I could ever find someone who could read my soul. Complete me. Love? Romance? It's all fucked up right? I need you, mom."