Logan

191. Say Something

*Natalie POV*

I looked at the clock, 4:45-I looked outside to see the sky darkening, time to start winding down. I started to put some files away, and made a list of things to check up on in the morning. I walked toward Jack's office slowly. After our awkward conversation this morning, I wasn't sure what to expect.

I didn't know what Jack was here for, but it had to be serious. I'd looked into his record over the afternoon and it must have been big and scary enough to come all the way from Quantico. Big enough for Bohannon to be his second in command. Way too big for he and I to continue, I had to stop this. We had to find a way to make things work.

I knocked on his door.

"Yes?" He didn't look up from the files he was staring at, and I saw a photo of a crime scene. It looked familiar but before I could get a better look Jack snapped up and closed the file immediately. We made eye contact and I put my hands up. "What-what do you need?" He asked sternly.

I huffed and stood up straighter, "I'm just checking in to see if you need anything before-" I pointed to the clock and tapped on it.

He gazes at the clock then at me, "No I'm fine, I'm going to stay a bit longer tonight."

"Should I?" I take a step closer and he shakes his head.

"No, you should go, have Agent McTavish escort you to your vehicle. Oh, and have a good night, Miss Koughlin."

I blink in surprise, he was really taking my advice to heart.

I clutch my clipboard closer, "Okay, uh, thank you, Special Agent Medeira." Jack looks up at me and then I turn around and walk out of the office. I reach my desk and my cell phone rings. I pick up on the first ring but before I can say anything I hear Jack's voice.

"Natalie." I don't say anything but he continues, "I don't know how to do this. I've never been the type of guy to sleep with a colleague and just pretend it's another Tuesday. But I have to, and I'm trying."

I say nothing.

"Mi rosa? Di algo." He says. And I sigh.

"I appreciate your efforts," I say, gripping the phone tightly. "Goodnight, Jack." I whisper.

"Goodnight, Natalie."

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*Desmond POV*

I watch the flurries outside the window as I sip on coffee, waiting for Natalie to come home. I felt anxious, knowing she was out in this weather. I felt better once I'd woken up from my second nap, Alex filled me up on scones and coffee. I could feel him staring me down after our talk, and I watched as a car rolled up to the driveway. No Natalie, only Everett, the denim jacket he wore had a few flakes on it as he walked into the house.

My thoughts turned to Everett walking through the door. Did he report me to Clark? I feel if he did I would've gotten a call about it by now.

Everett walked past me on the couch and beelined for Alex. "Hey babe," he kissed him once, twice, and then his hands were on Alex's back and in his hair. Alex's mouth opens and Everett's tongue grazes his, and I look away. A pang of jealousy hits me and I remember the way I would pull Remy into the alleyway just to get a second alone with him.

Alex pulls away first, "Everett, we have a guest."

I hold my hand up to wave and then my phone vibrates. I look down to see a New York number, and I stand up, "Don't mind me." I take the phone and answer it, tucking into the garage.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Didn't think you'd stay away from me long did you?" I hear his voice on the end of the line.

"Dom." I say, a bit more angry than I expected.

"Dezzy boy, come back to New York. Your bed is still in my apartment, you know?" He says.

I roll my eyes, "You can keep it. How did you even get this number?" I ask.

"Oh come on, you can't seriously expect to move somewhere and not have Babs telling the entire borough on her facebook that you got some award for saving a guys life." I don't say anything but he keeps going, "Maybe we can pick up where we left off?"

A flash of the night we kissed runs in my mind. "No."

I feel guilty, I try to focus on Natalie's smile, her laugh, but Dom's voice cuts through, his voice low and seductive. "Don't act like you haven't thought about it." He sighs and my ears prickle and my body responds to his voice. I still remember the salt in my mouth from my tears when we kissed, the way his fingers cupped my cheek. I cut off the phone call and I try to shake this feeling off. Remy wouldn't want me to feel this way, tugged in so many places. My mind thinks to the last time we spoke about us, about what we wanted.

"What are we going to do? Live in the same apartment?" Remy says, his brown eyes cutting deep into mine.

"We could live like Mr. Delgado and Mr. Lobo and-"

"Pretend?" He says, "You know we can't Carmie, my parents, my family, they'd never approve." He shakes his head and I can hear myself pleading.

"Your family loves me, Rem." I laugh, breathing in a sob.

Remy looks at me, his eyes dark, "They do, but not like that."

I grab for his hand but he wrenches away from me, "We're in front of the church, Desmond!" I hear him spout off in Spanish and he leaves me standing alone.

My heart lurches, I feel as if I'm being scooped out, piece by piece, part of me being ripped away from my body.

"Remy please," I whisper yell, chasing after him. He looks behind him, his brown hair flipping in the wind. He shakes his head and then he stops. I don't even realize I'm crying until he hands me his handkerchief.

"Quit fucking crying, you're making a scene."

I remember holding it against him as I watched him bleed out, willing his body to put the blood back inside him. My hands pressed against the wound in his chest, trying so desperately to do something.

Anything.

My phone rings again and I'm ripped back into this reality, I look down to see Natalie's phone number popping up.

"Hey." I answer.

"Hey, I was thinking, what if I bring home your favorite dessert? The one from the Asian market?"

"Sure." I say.

"Everything okay?" Natalie says, and I hate that she's so perceptive sometimes.

"I'm fine." I say, and I hear her car door shut. "I'm going to let you go."

"Okay, good I'm already at the store. I should see you in 10-15 minutes, okay?"

"Sure." I say, clearing my throat.

"You sure you're alright?" Natalie says.

"Yes, Natalie, I'm fine." I say a little more annoyed than I thought.

"Okay." She says, and I end the call.

I rub my eyes and kick one of the shoes by the door. What the fuck is wrong with me?