"Is it weird to want to f*ck a fictional character?" Asked Moony.
"No Moons, Felipe had a special place in my heart." Replied Sirius
"Siri, Felipe was our great uncle." Regulus said, grossed out.
"Keep it in the family I guess?" Peter stated, earning an open- mouthed stare from everybody, but Sirius.
————-
Lily, through tears, mid mental break down, climbed up the stairs to the Marauders dorm. She entered to see Remus and Regulus, yelling at a dog and stag.
She stood there puzzled, before turning around and walking out.
————-
"Annoyed Marls today by setting her, 'OMW' at 8am, we didn't have plans."
At that moment, Marlene entered the common room, yelling "F*CK YOU JAMES POTTER, I FELL OUT OF BED, SLAMMED BY HEAD ON THE BED POST, STUBBED EVERY SINGLE TOE AND AM WIELDING A BAT. GO TO HELL."
—————-
"ALL YOU GAYS ARE GOING TO HELL!" Yelled Snivellus.
"What if you don't believe in heaven and hell?" Asked Regulus.
"Then go to the back rooms, idfk."
———-
"Reggie, I want this." Dorcas said, while placing a tiny, fake plant in a hippo pot in Regulus's shopping cart.
"No, what the f*ck, I'm not buying you random sh*t."
"Hey Reggie, remember that time your ancestors brutally colonised mine, then forced them into generations of slavery?"
Regulus groaned. "Fine>"
"Yay, reparation!" Squealed Dorcas, while running off to find more random sh*t.
——————
"So everyone agrees my patrons would be a cat, right?" Regulus asked.
Everybody nodded simultaneously.
"What memory is f*cking happy enough?"
Everyone paused, before all shrugging
————-
The Plastics:
( Regulus, James, Peter, Sirius, and Remus )
Remus: F*ck this sh*t
Regulus: What did my brother do this time?
Remus: We're watching ratatouille
Remus: AND THE STUPID RATS NAME IS 'Remy'
Regulus: He's never going to let you live this down
Sirius: YOU'RE NOT STUPID BABY
James: Get a room
James: But I agree with him
Peter: What's 'Ratatoullie'
Sirius: *GASP:
James: *EVEN BIGGER GASP:
Regulus: My poor baby
————
"When I started dating Regulus, Sirius said 'James, there's something I have to tell you about him'. I said 'I know, I know, if I hurt him you'll kill me. THIS B*TCH REPLIED WITH 'No, he'll kill you'. I'M TERRIFIED OF MY BOYFRIEND."
"AS YOU SHOULD!" Yelled Sirius
—————
Picture to burn- Taylor Swift
Bye lovelies
YOU ARE READING
Oneshots| Jegulus and Wolfstar
Non-Fiction❝ 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐔𝐏 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 ❞ ╰┈➤ in which you just got rickrolled (jk)- @ -n-nxptvne. you read the title, what else do you want ??? but writing i...
