"REMUS, REMUS, LOVE! I TRANSFIGURED YOU SOMETHING AT THE SCHOOL TODAY!" Sirius announced to the entire Gryffindor common room.
Remus put his book down, letting it rest on his thigh. "The idea of 'I' and 'transfigured' in the context of you is a concerning."
"Stop using big words." Sirius pouted. "No but look! Minnie taught me how to make chocolate lip balm. I think she thought it was a gift for you, but NO, it means chocolate kisses for me, and you get the taste, I mean, but I mainly got it for me."
( 92 words )
————-
Remus: Prongs! Have you seen Sirius? I have the DADA notes he wants.
James: Don't worry, Dora to the rescue. *cups hands around his mouth*
James, shouting: REMUS IS A RAGING HETEROSEXUAL!
Sirius: *bursts through doors* TELL THAT TO THE DICK HE SUCKED LAST NIGHT!
Remus:
James:
Sirius:
Regulus:
Lily:
Mcgonnagal: Dumbledore owes me twenty galleons
Dumbledore: Dumbledamn
( 50 words )
142 words in total
—————-
Remus, Sirius, and Harry in diagonal alley, shopping for Harry's first year
Sirius: So Harry, you can bring one pet, which one do you want?
Harry: Well I was thinking I was maybe a cat
Sirius: A CAT?!
Harry: Yeah, why?
Sirius: THERE ARE SO MANY ANIMALS ON THIS PLANET AND YOU PICK A GOD DAMN CAT?!
Sirius: ARE YOU CRAZY?!
Sirius: MOONY DID YOU HEAR THAT?! DID YOU HEAR HE WANTS A CAT?!
Sirius: JAMES YOUR SON IS A MENACE
James, from below: GOD DAMN, A CAT?!
Remus: Sirius, take a chocolate
Sirius: CHOCOLATE CAN'T FIX THIS CRISIS! MY OWN GODSON BETRAYED ME!
( 98 words )
242 words in total
————-
for the marauders, whenever someone falls asleep, they take it upon themselves to stack as many items on their head without them waking up
Remus: *falls asleep:
James and Sirius: *look at each other*
James: *stacks
-assorted books
-a broomstick
-several sofa cushions
-3 goblets
-a wizard chess board
-a log from the fire
-5 boxes of bertie boots every flavour beans
-an overly willing Sirius Black
these remained on Remus' head for an hour, before he woke up and muttered "next time you fall asleep, I'm going to kill you," pointing between Sirius and James.
"EVEN THE GHOST?" Sirius asked, astonished.
Remus was still basically asleep, and didn't take this as insulting him and instead said "especially Rhianna."
( 108 words )
350 words in total
————-
bye bye me lovelies!
YOU ARE READING
Oneshots| Jegulus and Wolfstar
Saggistica❝ 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐔𝐏 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 ❞ ╰┈➤ in which you just got rickrolled (jk)- @ -n-nxptvne. you read the title, what else do you want ??? but writing i...
