I SAID WHOEVER THREW THAT PAPER, YO MUM'S A HOE

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^^I reference this daily, and no one gets my reference :'(

Regulus felt his breathing become uneven.

The pain in his stomach eating at him from the inside.

The guilt washing over him like a tsunami.

He felt as if he was watching this scene straight out of a movie unfold from above.

James Potter- his James Potter.

Was dead.

Reg's POV

Now you're probably wondering how we got to this point.

Well, let me take you back to 30th of October, 1983, time 11:59pm. James and I were sitting lazily on our couch, eating the microwave popcorn we just bought.

We were cuddling, and laughing, talking about our, and his son Harry's future. ( long story short basically him and Lily drunkingly hooked up, Lily got preggo, then died, and James and Regulus took care of him )

When we heard a knock at the door. James of course, being the noble hero he is, suggested he go and check who it is, also James being the stubborn idiot he is, opened the door to a random stranger in the middle of war. Being delulu wasn't the selulu, and someone I recognise, and is all too familiar enters.

You know them, pale skin, raspy voice, ugly clothes, needs a nose job, yeah, him.

A burst of green light erupts behind him, and I assume the worst. I reach for my wand, to find an empty pocket. Of course, it's upstairs.

"Well, well, well. Regulus Black, what a pleasure." He greets.

"The pleasure isn't returned." I simply reply, clearly annoying him.

"Can't believe you, of all people, left, me. You're more like your brother than I thought." He states.

"Heh, yeah, gay, dating someone my family hates, hating my family." He blandly replies, smirking.

The dark ( chocolate looking lover ) frowned at him. "You know, I am quite disappointed in you. And I did just so happen to find a little note of sorts in Kreacher's broom closet." He pulled a piece of parchment out of Lord know's where ( get it ) I instantly recognise it.

"You found my grocery list?" I ask.

He stares at me, confusion written all over your face. "No! What? The one you sent to Kreacher telling him the plan to quote 'steal the crusty musty dusty rusty's ugly necklace' quote."

I giggles. "Oh yeah. Can I have it back now?"

"What? No! I'm here to kill you?" He looks at me puzzled.

I stare back at him, "well aren't you going to then? Merlin, hard to get good help around here. Should've just left Barbie to do it."

"Who's Barbie ?!" He shouts.

"Two words, first word starts with L and ends with S, and the second starts with M and ends with Y." I state.

He ponders for a moment . "You mean Lucius?"

"Yeah, Barbie." I reply.

"I'm so confused." Confesses Bellatrix, who of course, being the simp she is, accompanied the Dark Lord.

"Ayyy Bella. How's Rodolphus?" I ask.

"What the fuck?" She mumbles.

"Imma just kill you now." Voldy Moldy informs me.

"What, noooo! But I have to outlive King Charles." I remind him.

"Imma just. Avada Kedavra." He spells.

I dodge. "Skill issue. Noob." 

"Did he just duck to avoid the killing curse?" Asked Bellatrix.

"You blind or something? I was just checking if gravity still works. No, of course I dodged it."  Regulus told her.

While I was distracted, pre- plastic surgery Kim K shoots me with the anti- depressants, and I say bye bye bitches.

***

I felt like writing something, but like yk, not serious

soooo

we got this

words: 565

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