Sacred Vows-dil Se Bandhi Ek Dor

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Ahana

I dashed through the door, I heard someone calling my name but my body was in flight mode I wasn't even thinking clearly the only thought in my mind was to go and hide where nobody could see me breaking apart.

I booked the cab and went straight to the apartment, the moment I locked the door behind me, my dam broke I fell to the ground and cried my heart out, I cried for everything, everything that I lost, everything that I could have had if not for one person, for every moment I wasted thinking about him, I cried and cried until my lungs couldn't take anymore

I lay on the ground to seek the comfort I badly wanted, my lifeless eyes staring at stars through the open window I know she is there she has to be to comfort me, to tell me she is with me, 'Mumma' I cried, and then started sobbing 'Mumma...Mumma...Mumma...Mumma' I kept murmuring in the hope she will return at least to hug me one last time, to tell me "Everything will be fine Gudiya you are my strong bacha".

Maa I am not strong not as strong as you think I am, please come back, with whom I will share my pain, my silly joke, the side no one knows, you were my soul, Mumma, without you, I am just a lifeless body, please come back.

First time I had a panic attack last year It was the first time I knew how a person feels when they can't breathe and want to take every single particle in their lungs, to hold onto something like this is the last time they will hold something before they close their eyes and will be out of their misery, there are not enough words for me to explain how I felt in that moment, I felt like I am inside a volcano and buried in every one of the glaciers at the same time.

I can hear the faint sounds of cars and birds and I can feel the light on my face. I thought I finally got to meet my mother but it didn't even last long. When I opened my eyes, I was still on the floor. I tried to sit but it was painful everywhere. If a heavy truck were to pass over me it would be less painful than this.

I sat on the floor, having a bad headache and body ache, and decided to soak myself in the tub. So, giving my knees a little stretch, I stood and walked slowly towards my bedroom. Turning on the tap in the bathtub, I waited for it to fill. I didn't have the guts to look at myself in the mirror right now so I decided to avoid that area and stopped myself there without turning around.

I put my favorite soothing oil in the bath and got into it. Without checking the temperature, I felt like my skin was getting burned. At first, I wanted to take a cold bath to numb my senses, but then I decided against it and went for a warm bath. I relaxed eventually, and I dozed off in the bath. I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing somewhere in the house.

The water was cold when I got out of the bath, absent-mindedly I walked towards the mirror. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I couldn't recognize her. She looked lifeless in the mirror. That can't be me, no it can't be.

I was positive, happy, and hopeful. When and how did that happen?

How? I screamed to the point my lungs hurt, and every pore of my body hurt.

And fell down on the floor but this time there were no tears. My eyes were dry like Sahara, and my mind was blank. There was nothing left there.

I can still hear the faint sound of my phone ringing somewhere in the house, but I didn't have the energy left to talk to someone right now and nobody called me other than my Nani. She is in Kedarnath right now so she won't.

I was just deciding to go to pick up the call when my doorbell rang, I got up quickly put whatever I could find and sprinted towards the door, I didn't have time to look through the peephole because whoever was outside started banging the door loudly after three bells, I was so messed up in my mind that I didn't even recognize his voice when I heard while I was running towards the door.

Who do you think would be at the door the reason for her nightmare or the reason to end it? What do you guys think?