" Honey there comes a time when you have to heal, let go of the hurt and anger for your sake. Forgiving doesn't mean you have to deal with those people who hurt you but you bring peace into your life..."
Anele's therapist explained to her. Anele was visiting her for the first time since the Himura's showed up and had spoken to her about the kids the day before and about the interaction she had with the Himura's. Also the anxiety attacks she gets when she sees Kenji and her anger towards Kyoko.
Anele sat in her therapist's office, her hands fidgeting nervously in her lap. She had been bottling up her emotions for so long that they were starting to spill over, affecting every area of her life. The mention of forgiveness made her defensive, as if she was protecting the wounds that had become her armor.
"but how can I forgive them? How can I move on when they caused me so much pain?"
Anele's voice trembled with both anger and vulnerability. The memories of the hurtful words and actions of the Himuras were still fresh in her mind, like it had happened yesterday. Bai had advised her to seek help as her nightmares were getting worse. Her therapist leaned forward in her chair, a compassionate smile on her face.
"Anele, forgiveness isn't about condoning their actions or pretending like nothing ever happened. It's about freeing yourself from the burden of carrying that anger, hurt, and resentment. By forgiving, you're releasing yourself from being defined by what they did to you."
Anele sighed, her shoulders slumping in defeat.
"What if I'm not ready to let go yet? What if I need to hold onto my anger as a reminder of what they did?"
Her therapist nodded understandingly.
"It's completely normal to feel that way, Anele. Holding onto anger can feel like a way of protecting ourselves from being hurt again but in reality, it's only trapping us in a cycle of pain."
She continued,
"You don't have to forgive them all at once or force yourself to forget what happened. Healing takes time but by gradually letting go of the anger and hurt, you create space for peace and joy to enter your life again."
Anele thought about her therapist's words, contemplating the possibility of a life without constant anger and anxiety. It seemed daunting, but also strangely freeing.
"How do I even begin to forgive?"
Anele asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Her therapist smiled reassuringly.
"Start by acknowledging your pain and allowing yourself to feel it. Then, begin to separate the actions of the Himuras from who they are as people. Remember that forgiveness is more for you than for them."
Anele took a deep breath, feeling a flicker of hope ignite within her. Maybe, just maybe, forgiveness could be a path towards healing and peace. Slowly, she began to imagine a future where anger and hurt no longer defined her.
" I was contemplating pressing charges on Kenji but I don't want the twins to lose out on knowing their father just as he started acknowledging their existence. Then there's also the fact that the Himura's are wealthy and powerful."
Anele told her therapist. Who nodded, understanding the complexity of the situation.
"It's completely understandable that you don't want your children to miss out on having a relationship with their father,"
the therapist replied.
"and it's important to acknowledge the power dynamics at play here as well. However, it's essential that we prioritize your well-being and the safety of you and your children."
Anele took a moment to absorb the therapist's words. She knew deep down that forgiveness and understanding were worthy goals, but she also couldn't ignore the pain and fear she had experienced at the hands of Kenji.
"but how do I find peace without risking our safety?"
she asked, her voice filled with uncertainty.
The therapist offered a sympathetic smile.
"Forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean letting someone back into your life without boundaries. It's about finding a way to let go of the anger and hurt for your own sake. It can be a healing process that doesn't require you to put yourself or your children in harm's way."
Anele considered this idea. It was true that carrying around anger and resentment had only weighed her down. She understood that it wouldn't be an easy process, but she was willing to try.
YOU ARE READING
WHEN I NEEDED YOU. ( Lesbian Slow Updates.)
General Fiction" Stupid me. I thought you were different." " But I-" " Get away from me! I don't ever want to see your fat face again." Nothing hurt more than her words and the look of disgust on her face. The one person who she thought would believe her did not...
