Obsessive Control ( Under publishing contract )

Surffering

The water was starting to cool, and she shivered against me.

- Shall we go out?

She nods as she starts to get up. I look at her scars, swollen from the heat.

Her parents are going to hate me, that's for sure. For all I'm doing to her, they'll never accept me.

It's a good thing I'm no longer part of her life, so she won't suffer in my presence.

I get up and she hands me a towel, which I put around my waist.

I move closer to her and take her hands in mine, then bring them to my mouth to kiss them.

- Do you want to put your ring back on?

She smiles at me, standing on tiptoe to place her lips on mine.

Lord, I'll repent and accept your punishment.

- Yes, I'd love to, Love, but I'd have to send a message to my parents before I come. They must be worried about my disappearance.

She was right, I'd taken it off overnight without leaving a single clue, a single piece of evidence that I'd ever found it again.

I'm cruel, the love she gives me I don't deserve at all.

- I'll get you a new phone.

She sneezes.

I laugh lightly, caressing her face.

- Let's get dressed, you must be hungry too.

She pulls away from me with sparkling eyes, talking about food made her happy.

- Could I go outside too?

I follow her to the bedroom, and she goes into the dressing room to choose some clothes.

- Going out, I don't think...

No, I'm not allowed to lock her up anymore, it was very hard to agree to let her go and roam wherever she wanted. I still have this fear in me that she'll disappear, leaving me alone.

But why was she there when I was going to be the one to abandon her.

I'm being selfish.

- Of course, but let's go out together.

She turns around, fully dressed. I arch an eyebrow.

- These are my clothes...

She giggles.

- Admit it, they look better on me than on you.

I smile as I walk around her.

- In your dreams.

I lay her laughing behind my back, I'm going to miss that sound, she'll have to forget me soon. It'll be hard at first. But it's the best way to move on.

I love her. But I'm bad.

- What's on your mind?

I don't look back and blow, I had to be honest to the end.

- I think I'm not the right person for you. You deserve much better, much better. Monsters like me have no right to happiness.

I could feel her gaze on my back, it was heavy. Even if she reassured me. It wasn't possible.

Who was I deep down, was the real me this person who loved her madly, or just a mask I put on to please her.

- You're not a monster, at least I didn't think so at first, but you've shown me that you can change and be loving.

She paused for a moment, pressing herself against my back.

- You feel things that watches are incapable of, so I want to build a world where you can. No, that's not the right word. Where we can walk together in the light.

I wish she'd tell me, but she wasn't ready, it would probably derail my plan, and it absolutely wasn't necessary.

She's got to go.

I have to disappear from this life.

- Let's eat.

She loosened her arms, and I turned around, pulling on my sweatshirt.

- If it doesn't work out, you can talk to me, I'll listen without judging you Love.

I lean in and kiss her forehead.

- I know, Aris. Right now, it's too hard.

She takes my hand in hers.

- All right, I'll give you as much time as you need.

All I wanted to do was cuddle her and never stop.

I'm crazy about her.

- Well, I'm hungry. she says, smiling.

I wonder if it wouldn't be wiser for her to spend some time alone with her parents.

- You should just spend some time with your parents, enjoy the time you have left with them and then we'll meet up again...

She thinks for a few minutes, putting her hair up in a bun.

- You're probably right. Afterwards, I'll be too busy with my marital duties. She says, looking at my body with envy.

Perverse.

You like it, don't you?

Yes.

- Your conjugal duty must be fulfilled once you're married.

I start to get out of the dressing room, she follows me hopping.

- How tall are you exactly? Because all you do is call me puppy.

I giggle.

She felt tiny next to me, and I loved the fact that she was small.

I can devour her easily.

- 1m89, which suits you very well because you're small and you look like an adorable little puppy.

She sits on the central island with her arms crossed.

- This comparison is not at all gratifying.

I take out the cooking equipment.

- I don't care what you think, you'll always be my adorable little puppy.

Always.

I could never love anyone else. My heart belonged to her, until I died.

I wanted to start a family with her, but it's impossible. They'd all be afraid of me.

I know she's fighting back her fear. Her body tenses every time I touch her, it's slight, but I feel it.

I can't blame her, after what I've done to her, it's understandable.

She'd have to hate me instead of loving me.

But if she hadn't... Our relationship would never have evaluated.

I'd always be the executioner and she the prisoner. Nothing would have changed.

From the start what I wanted was for her to see me, to love me, but my demons caught up with me. My past caught up with me.

And put a slap in my face to remind me of the reality of my soul.

She's dark, light will never be able to illuminate her.

When she's gone, I'll sink into despair...

I couldn't go near her, I mustn't go near her.

But the only consolation would be the multitudes of photos and videos of her.

What awaits me is suffering.

This will be my punishment for all the evil I've done to her.