Shadowhunter Facebook Chats

Jocelyn, Queen of the PHANDOM

***Jocelyn Fray has updated her status***

*to the tune of Bringin Sexy Back*

Their names are Dan and Phil, YEAH

They're like my sickness pill, YEAH

They really make me giggle, YEAH

They make my body wiggle, yeahh

--Jace Herondale likes this--

--Comments--

Clary: MOM

Clary: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Simon: sickness pill? lol

Jace: I like the way yor mammer thinks, Fray

Clary: EURGH, JACE

Tessa: ZOMFG, I can't tell if this is amazing[philteehee] or just disturbing...

Jocelyn: Clary was sick, so I made up a song about her favourite YouTubers for her

Clary: And that was supposed to HELP?!

Jocelyn: Well, I was getting sick of you listening to She's Kinda Hot and One Love so much *we are the quings and the keens of the new broken scene, but we're alright tho...*

Clary: Quings and keens? wtf

Simon: GASP *clutches chest* *staggers* Y-YOU DON'T LIKE 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER? OR MARIANAS TRENCH?!

Jace: who da eff is mariana's trench

Will: YER SPELLIN IT RONG

Jocelyn: I am sick of the both of them. I swear, if you play songs from either of those punk freaks ONE MORE TIME, I will DESTROY THY COMPUTER SPEAKERS! Cross my heart and hope to die!!!

Clary: ...

Clary: but you just referenced an MT song...

Jocelyn: I would RATHER listen to Ed Sheeran or One Direction. They have lovely music :)

Clary: I would, but their music doesn't drown out those cooking shows/mountain goat documentaries of yours...

Simon: Mountain goat documentaries.

Jocelyn: Escuse me?! You don't like Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives?

Tessa: Ooh, girl, you just insulted someone's fave TV shows... shiz gonna go DOWN...

Simon: But... mountain goat documentaries.

Clary: Yeah, and SHE insulted my two current-obsession bands! ('specially the Trench. That's lowww, woman.)

Jocelyn: They are annoying and punky! You know middle-aged women hate the pop-punk genre!

Clary: You could at least get the lyrics right! "Quings and keens"? THAT DON'T EVEN MAKE SENSE

Simon: Still letting the ridiculousness of the mountain goat documentaries marinate...

Clary: "Mosquitoland" reference?!

Simon: What no I didn't read that book I am a man I read manga.

Clary:

Simon:

Clary:

Simon:

Clary: YOU TOTALLY READ IT ZOMG THE FEELS RAIGHT ARRRGH

Simon: I KNOW IT WAS SUCH A WEIRD BOOOOOOOOK

Magnus: I am officially lost.

Alec: As am I.

Jace: that's because you dumbarses just tuned in...

Magnus: U so mean, Jacey :( We were having a glitter rave!

Alec: "We"?!

Magnus: I were having a glitter rave. Happy?

Alec: *was. And hello, it's the 21st century, doncha know. Raves are out

Magnus: NOBODY CARES

Magnus: Anyway, what's this about mountain goat documentaries? I'm intrigued.

Jocelyn: *shudders*

Jocelyn: WHY DO THE BABY MOUNTAIN GOATS HAVE TO LIVE ON THE SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN????

Jocelyn: THEY'RE GONNA FALL AND DIE! DIEEEEE, I TELL YOU!!!!

Jocelyn: I WANT TO CHANGE THE CHANNEL, BUT I WANT TO FIND OUT IF THE BEBE LIVES

Jocelyn: STUPID CROWS! STAY AWAY FROM THE LITTLESMALL GOATLING! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE HIM ALOOOOOONE????????????????????????

Magnus: Sorry I asked...

Simon: Agreed

Jem: Anyway

Gabriel: Is that the only time you actually participate in conversations?

Jem: Yes. Yes, it is, hycaprit.

Gabriel: ...

Gabriel Lightwood has left the conversation

Jocelyn: GLITTERBOMB

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Except for the 'quings and keens' thing, these scenarios all actually happened (as usual). My mom tolerates 5SOS and the Trench somewhat, though, lol