Shadowhunter Facebook Chats

The Adventures of Jocelyn the Great

***Jocelyn Fray has updated her status***

CLARYYYYY, WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS EMBARRASSING ME IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS?!

—Comments—

Clary: MOM

Jocelyn: And why do you always shout "MOM" whenever I post anything???

Simon: XD What happened this time?

Clary: oh gawds...

Jocelyn: Clary and Luke and I were walking back to the truck after lunch at Taki's. I asked Clary if I could borrow five bucks. She gave it to me and asked me what it was for, in that order. I said I just wanted five bucks. So she started chasing me around the parking lot, and I was holding it away from her, and then eventually I tried to stuff it in the back of my pants, but then I looked back and saw my friends watching!

Clary: It's your fault for trying to stick my money where the sun don't shine...

Jem: That...

Will: ...is priceless

Jem: Ooh, sentence finishies! Virtual high five!!!

Will: *high

Jem: five*

Will: Woo, das you, mah brutha from anutha mutha!!!!

Jem: Yeah, homie! Hang loose, bruh!

Tessa: Ew

Tessa: Please stop

Will: Okay, love! :3

Jem: Whateever you say <3 x

Magnus: STILL disturbing.

Clary: And hey! You still have my money!!!

Jocelyn: Nuh, nuh, nuh, sweetheart. I'll be taking this when I leave

Jocelyn: ...this earth

Jocelyn: BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD THAT WAS A GOOD ONE!!! HOOOOT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Everyone:

Jocelyn: X'D

Everyone:

Jocelyn: ...

Everyone:

Jocelyn: Well, I thought it was funny.

Jace: No. It was terrible.

Jocelyn: Jace, I will mess up your extremely neat room and shave your girlishly long hair while you sleep unless you break up with my daughter this instant.

Jace: MY HAIR. IS NOT. GIRLISH.

Jace: And why do I have to break up with Clary?????

Jocelyn: Because you think my jokes are terrible.

Jace: WHAT

Jace: BUT THEY ARE

Jocelyn: Expect to have no hair and an emptied undie drawer by tomorrow morning, son of Valentine

Jace: VALENTINE IS NOT MY DAD, WOMAN

Jace: And I refuse to break up with Clary, even if it means

Jace: Even if it means losing

Jace: Even

Jace: If

Jace: Losing

Jace: If

Jace: If

Jace: Hair

Jace: NOOOOOOOOOO PLEASE PLEASE LADY I WILL DO ANYTHING (besidesbreakupwithclary) JUST PLEASE DON'T SHAVE MY HEAD PLEASE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEEEEEASE

Jace: HAVE SOME MERCY, WOMAN!!!!!!

Jocelyn: Sorry, Johnny >:D

Jace: DO NOT CALL ME JONATHAN!!!

Clary: Mom, I will go out and get my nose/belly button/tongue/eyeballs pierced and tattoo my entire face and get implants in my chest and butt if you make Jace break up with me. :)

Jocelyn:

Jocelyn:

Jocelyn:

Jocelyn Fray has left the conversation

Clary: I think we're okay ;)

Jace: You are a brilliant person.

Clary: ikr

Simon: Please, if you're going to go down the *makes out with you* road, get a room before we all puke up.

Jace: Puke up is not a thing, man

Simon: ...or is it?

Simon: WOOOOooooOOOOOooooOOOOooooOOOOOooooOOOooo

Simon Lewis has magically and mysteriously vanished

Jace: nerd

Will: Jem, don't say Anyway.

Jem: aww, whai?

Magnus: Can I say GLITTERBOMB?

Will: No.

Magnus: Oh :(

Jem: But if we have no sign-off, then what are we going to do?

Will: WE GO WITHOUT.

Jem: But—

Will: AH—!

Will: Just... let it go.

Jem:

Everyone:

Jem:

Jem: You said Let It Go

Will: DUDE

Jem: Well, we can't just NOT say something to sign off!!!

Grover: Jes leave it to me, bois. Leave it to me ;)

Jem: ...o-kay, whoever you are

Grover: Peas!

Will: Oh, lord, here we go again...

_________________________________________________________________

Clary was me, Jocelyn was (DUH) my mom, and Jocelyn's "friends" were actually strangers. Oh, and the five bucks was really a napkin.

I don't know, okay?