Luke: "I wish I could hate you" Luke whispered, a few tears running down his cheeks. Even after finding out you'd been cheating on him for the past three months with one of his bandmates, he hadn't been able to form a coherent word or scream and yell at you as you'd first expected. You knew what you did was shitty, and especially to Luke. Luke who was the sweetest person you'd ever met and could do no wrong to anyone, and you'd gone and destroyed him. You don't know why you did it, as cliché as it sounds it just kind of happened and in this moment you wished with everything that you could take it back. You wished you could take away the hurt and pain Luke failed to hide in his eyes and the slight shake his palms were doing, the only trace of anger present. You didn't know what to say, and even as you opened your mouth to try and at least say something he cut you off.
"Just, don't. I think you should go now." He calmly said. This was it. You were about to walk out of Luke's life forever. The second that door closed behind you, the door to Luke would be closed forever as well. You tried once more to speak, and his voice boomed over yours.
"Y/N GET OUT," His voice shook, "Please." He choked on a sob. You blinked back a few tears of your own and sighed, leaving Luke's apartment without a second glace back.
Calum: "I wish I could hate you," You say, "I really fucking wish I could hate you right now." You stood trembling with Calum a few feet away, guilt evident in his features. Earlier you'd heard Calum's phone buzz and when another girls name with heart emojis popped up on the screen you couldn't stop yourself from checking the messages. After having read all the wildly inappropriate messages sent back and forth, and seen the nude pictures she sent him you struggled to hold the tears in and ended up punching a hole in the wall. You had confronted Calum about when he got home that night, and now you're stuck in your current situation, staring teary eyed at Calum, trying to not let your voice waver as you looked at him accusingly waiting for some kind of explanation.
"I-I don't know what to say." Calum mumbled, looking down at the floor a couple times in attempt to not meet your eye contact.
"I hate how much fucking pain you've put me through right now. I hate how you don't even have an explanation for this. I hate how you don't even seem affected, when I feel like my world's just been completely shattered." You spit out, words laced with venom, "But, most of all I hate the fact that I don't hate you, not even a little bit, not even at all." You stared at the boy you had once loved and it physically ached. You couldn't stand to look at him another second, without falling apart wholeheartedly, so you pointed toward the door.
"Just go, Calum." You said. He didn't attempt to argue, and just silently walked past you and left. You didn't hear from him again after that night, but deep down you hoped he missed you. You hoped that one day he'd wake up and realize that you were the best thing to ever walk into his life and he's lost you forever and you hoped he regretted it for the rest of his life.
Michael: "I wish I could hate you," you said, "I wish I could hate you as much as you hate me." You stood in front of Michael Clifford, the boy next store that has hated you for as long as you could remember. You'd never done anything to him and it really hurt you that he could hate you so strongly for no particular reason.
"You're such an idiot, how can you not see?" He questioned roughly, sighing to himself and running his fingers through his hair. You had finally confronted him, standing outside in his front lawn looking at him expectantly with your arms crossed over your chest expectantly.
"See what, exactly?" You asked irritably. He met your gaze and scoffed, shaking his head.
"That I'm fucking in love with you!" He exclaimed. His eyes bulged out of his head as he registered what he had just said. You felt like you'd been punched in the stomach and had the wind knocked out of you. You couldn't breathe properly for a couple seconds and you looked at him as if you couldn't quite understand what he'd actually said.
"What?" You asked quietly, suddenly feeling very shy and reserved.
"Well, I mean," he said, "I do." You both stood there quietly for a couple minutes, before Michael continued.
"I'm not the best with expressing my feelings, as you could probably tell. You're so far out of my league, I thought I'd never have a chance in hell with someone like you. I'm really sorry for the way I've been treating you, I guess it was just my insecurities taking over, believing there'd never be a reason for you to talk to me or even know my name if I didn't do something, even if that thing was be a complete dick to you." You never realized there could be something deeper to Michael Clifford, and it made you feel kind of special in a way that he was sharing this with you. You'd always found him attractive and thought to yourself you'd definitely be into him if he wasn't such a douche, and now here he was telling you that he actually wasn't such a douche.
"I like you, Michael." You said, coming to that conclusion just now yourself. He smiled, the first real genuine smile you'd even seen on him, and he scooped you up in his arms and kissed you.
"I promise to not be such an ass from now on." He said once he set you back down.
"Oh, you better." You said chuckling to yourself.
Ashton: "I wish I could hate you," you said, "it would hurt less." You stood in your best friend Ashton's house and he had just found out your feelings for him, which he did not reciprocate. You knew this, everyone did, he was head over heels for the bitchy cheerleader, prom queen at your high school and they had an on again, off again relationship. You hadn't even meant to tell him how you felt, it just kind of happened and now it hung in the air between the two of you. He had tried to say something to comfort you, but you stopped him.
"I wish I could ignore you, the way you ignore me. I don't even feel like an important part of your life anymore. They say the first time you fall in love changes you forever, and they're definitely right. I will fucking be changed forever, but not in the way you would think. I don't get that feeling of being in love and having it returned back, because you just don't feel that way about me. I can't blame you for that, you're free to want who you want, but I don't think I can put myself through this pain anymore either. Now that it's all out in the air I can't go back, so I don't think this is going to work out anymore." You said, hiccupping slightly as you tried to hold back tears that threatened to fall down your cheeks. You thought back to the countless nights you'd spent in Ashton's room playing video games and eating junk food until all hours of the night, or snuggled up under tons of blankets having movie marathons and felt a sense of nostalgia. You'd come over here so often it felt like your second home and within an instant it was all going to disappear.
"You mean you don't want to be friends anymore?" Ashton asked quietly. He looked guilty, for no real reason. Maybe it was because he felt bad for you and felt bad he didn't love and want you the same way you loved and wanted him. You'd had years and years of memories shared with Ashton, and you weren't sure you'd be able to make it on your own without him.
"Yes." You whispered, "I think that would be best." You wanted to bolt out of there, feeling extremely uncomfortable, yet at the same time couldn't get your legs to work as you stood there silently.
"Y/N, please don't do this." Ashton pleaded. You wiped under your eyes with the back of your palm in a quick motion and shook your head decisively.
"I'm sorry Ashton. I guess it just wasn't meant to be." You said before turning and exiting his house. You stumbled down his front steps, vision clouded by tears that just wouldn't stop flowing and once a decent distance away took a seat of the edge of the sidewalk and put your head in your hands, letting out quiet sobs. One day Ashton was going to wake up and realize he should have tried for me. He shouldn't have let me just walk out the door, never to be seen or heard from again. I was worth the fight.
