You Belong To Me- Part 2 (KAYLOR)

359.

"It never was you. It was me. I cheated on you." Karlie said as she stared out of the window.

Taylor was in disbelief. It felt as if the wind was knocked right out of her. As the tears streamed down her face, she felt as if the walls of her chest were closing in. She leaned over and began gasping for air, her heart raced as she was overcome with grief. Karlie saw that she was having a panic attack and raced to her side.

"Come on, sit down. Lean your head forward, as far as it will go and take deep breaths. Nice and slow Taylor. Just listen to my voice and keep breathing, nice and slow."

As her breathing began to stabilize, Karlie ran to get her water. "Here, take little sips."

The singer continued her steady breathing as she closed her eyes and tried to just focus. She didn't care what it was, she just needed to focus on something to calm herself down. When she opened her eyes she found her wife kneeled at her feet with her hands on her knees. Without any words or warning, Taylor raised her hand and slapped her Karlie across the face.

All Karlie could do was lower her head, embarrassed and ashamed of her confession. She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around Taylor's waist as her wife struck her arms over and over again. "Just let go, let go of me..please Karlie....just let me go." With every strained word coming from her mouth, each strike became weaker and weaker. The tears simply took over.

Karlie wouldn't let go. She refused to let her go, as her sobbing intensified. "Taylor I'm so sorry. I'm just so sorry. I was stupid and angry with you and I'm not going to say that I didn't know what I was doing because I did. I take full responsibility for my actions. I fucked up Taylor and what makes everything that much worse is the fact that for the past week I made it seem like it was all in your head. Like, you were the crazy one. But you're not and I'm sorry."

Taylor tried to push her wife off of her but the more she tried, the tighter Karlie held on as she laid her head on her wife's lap. "Karlie, stop. Look at me. LOOK AT ME. You owe me that much. Look me in the eyes and tell me what I did to make you stray.

Karlie loosened her grip and looked up at her wife. "You didn't do anything. It was me, all me. When you lost the baby and left for LA, I was angry and selfish. I went out one night to meet Cara for dinner but on the way there, I called her and cancelled. I told her I changed my mind and wanted to go for a run instead. I didn't mean for it to happen Tay, I swear I didn't. As I jogged around the city I saw Paige leaving the restaurant where she works and I stopped to say hi to her. At that moment, I had no intention of anything happening. We were just talking and, I don't know, she saw I was upset and asked me if I was ok. I started talking to her about how I was feeling and she just heard me out and gave me advice as we walked around. And I don't know what came over me but in that moment, I was weak and just felt alone. I can't sit here and give you an exact reason why but, I kissed her."

"That's why you never said you didn't cheat."Taylor whispered.

"What?" Karlie asked.

"When I was screaming at you last week, accusing you of cheating. You never once denied it. You just evaded the question with your, 'Taylor relax. What are you talking about?' You let me carry on like a lunatic and you knew. You knew all that time that I was right. And you just let me breakdown Karlie. How could you? How could you have done that to me? I love you so much. How could you have hurt me so easily and without any regard to my feelings. I just don't understand Karlie, I don't understand."

"Taylor I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know you hate me. I hate myself. And I never intended on hurting you. I swear I didn't. And I know I let you down and I understand if you never forgive me but I love you. I've always loved you and I always will love you. It was a mistake. I had wanted to tell you so many times. Just to clear my conscience and come clean but I was so afraid of doing that because I couldn't bare the thought of losing you. As the time went by, I convinced myself that it was better off to just stay quiet because everything was going so good with us."

Taylor stood up and began to pace around the room as Karlie sat on the floor, her legs bent to her chest and her head in her hands.

"Did you fuck her?"

"No."

"HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE YOU KARLIE?"

"I don't Taylor. I don't." She said in a whisper.

"You're gorgeous and you mean to tell me that Paige didn't take advantage of the situation? You guys had already had a moment a long time ago when we were broken up. I actually met this girl and she's beautiful. Why would I think that she wouldn't want more from you?"

"Because she slapped me across the face when I kissed her, that's why. Then she berated every inch of me for doing what I did because I'm married and have a child. She told me that I may think I could get anyone I want and maybe a lot of girls throw themselves at me but she wasn't one of them. She couldn't live with herself  knowing that she came between two people who loved each other. She said I should be ashamed of myself and questioned how I would feel if someone did that to my daughter. After that she left and I never saw her again."

"Well, at least you chose someone with morals and not some sweaty bitch at a club grinding all over you. I'm glad to see you're setting those standards higher for yourself." As the tears dried up, Taylor became more angry and resentful. She stood over her wife, and just looked at her. "So, what about Larisa? Are you sleeping with her?"

"No, not at all. I felt guilty about what happened with Paige. I just wanted all the thoughts and feelings that were inside of me, to go away. I wanted to pretend like it didn't happen. I know I should have told you but I couldn't. I felt and still feel like such an asshole. You're my best friend and with everything we've been through, I should have just opened up to you but I didn't. I'm just so ashamed of myself. I'll do whatever I can to earn your trust again.

"Karlie, answer the question, How does Larisa play a part in all of this? Why were you with her last week?"

"She found out about the agency and reached out to us, wanting to help promote us overseas because she always loved Lily and I from when she used to do our shoots for VS. I invited her to stop by the next time she was in the states. When she knew she was going to be in town, she came by and I gave her a tour. She saw the pictures of you and the baby and she commented on the picture I have of us on our honeymoon. She said it looked like Greece and I told her it was and that we had gone to Santorini and loved it. I even told her how you mentioned buying a little vacation home over there because you loved it so much. Her family are billionaires and evidently own a ton of property. She told me about some villas they had for sale and I expressed interest. Taylor, I know I can't buy your trust. I don't even know how to begin making up for what I did. I just want to make you happy, so I bought you a vacation home. Last week I met Larisa for lunch to finalize the paperwork. I wanted to surprise you for Valentines Day."

"Taylor, I can't sit here and ask you to believe me because I don't expect you to and I don't expect your forgiveness. When you confronted me and accused me of cheating, on the inside I started freaking out. Because I knew what I did and I knew that deep down inside you knew too. Maybe not the person specifically, but you've known me long enough to know when something isn't right. I was afraid to tell you. We're not in the dating stages of our relationship. You're my wife and I betrayed you. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make things right. Just please know how sorry I am. I fucked up so bad and I know that. I don't want a divorce but I understand if you do. I broke your trust and I have to live with that."

Taylor dried her eyes and took a deep breath. "Karlie I can't do this right now. I need time to think about everything. Please don't expect me to make a decision right now."

"I understand. But please just think about everything before you make a final decision. Just please take the good times into consideration. I'll do anything to fix us. I'll go to counseling everyday. I'll check in with you every two minutes when we're apart. I'll give you as much space and time as you need. I love you so much and I know you're probably questioning that right now, but it's true. I just don't want to lose you and deep down inside, I feel as though I already have."

Karlie was a mess during her explanation. There wasn't enough she could possibly say to make it any better. Time is all she could give her wife, she just didn't know if it would be enough.