PHOTOGRAPH (JIBEA)

31 - HURTING

BEA POV

Nagmahal, nasaktan, naglashing...

Yap. That's me. Nagmahal ako ng isang Jia Morado kaya ngayon nasasaktan ako kasi pakiramdam ko binabalewala niya lang ang feelings ko for her.

So, I am here at the bar, it is where do broken hearts go sabi nga ng iba. Broken-hearted people like me. I was hurting right now. Badly hurt.

For a week, for a whole dxxn week hindi kami nag-uusap ni Jia because of Miguel. Which is wala ng bago dun kasi siya lang naman talaga lagi ang pinagtatalunan namin.

Then, we have our some heated conversations, walang text or calls, until we had an argument inside the car a while ago.

And what happened in the car was the boiling point.

Flash back:

After her teammates left none from both of us wanted to say any words or even a single word.

So, in silence I headed back to the car and she follows.

While going to the car, I was trying to restrain myself from shouting or getting mad. I am trying to calm myself but I just couldn't.

I'm too hurt and too jealous just to be quiet. Kaya pagkapasok namin pareho sa kotse, hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko.

BEA: "Bakit kasama mo naman yung Miguel na yun?"

Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko because I was too hurt seeing Miguel coming from the gym and bringing her things. I am too hurt with the idea that she was with Miguel again.

JIA: "Lagi ka na lang ganyan. Ano naman masama kapag kasama ko siya. Magkaibigan kami, ilang beses ko ba dapat ipaliwanag sayo yun!?"

Ganting singhal niya sa akin dahil naiinis na siya.

BEA: "Sinabi ko naman sayo na iwasan mo siya di ba. Pero hindi ka pa rin sumunod."

JIA: "Hindi ko magagawa yang gusto mong mangyari. Wala kaming ginagawang masama. Nag uusap lang kami."

BEA: "Hindi mo ba talaga nakikita? May gusto siya sayo. Yun ang masama."

Nagsisigawan na kaming dalawa sa loob ng kotse. Walang gustong magpatalo.

JIA: "Nagseselos ka na naman. Pagtatalunan na naman ba natin ang bagay na yan?"

BEA: "I can't help it. Lagi siyang nakadikit sayo, alam naman niyang may relasyon tayo tapos eepal siya."

Galit na galit kong sabi sa kanya.

JIA: "Anong gusto mong gawin ko? Ang iwasan siya dahil nagseselos ka. I told you already kaibigan ko lang si Miguel."

BEA: "But of course you won't let go of him, kasi mas gugustuhin mong ako ang masaktan kaysa siya."

JIA: "You know what, pagod na ako sa ganito."

Galit na sabi niya at hindi ko nagustuhan ang huling sinabi niya.

BEA: "What are implying then? You wanna break up with me?"

Seryoso kong sabi ng may pagdiin. Parang dun kasi papunta ang tono ng sinasabi niya.

JIA: "Yun ba ang gusto mong mangyari? Ok fine. Tapusin na natin to. We are done."

Bulyaw niyang sabi sa akin, sabay labas ng kotse at binalibag ito pasara. She was mad.

I was stunned, she broke up with me. Tama ba ang yung narinig ko ngayon lang? Hindi ba ito isang panaginip lang? (come on Beatriz wake up) bulong ng isip ko.