18 Years

A Bipolar Day

Sebastian

Learn to be happy with what you have while  you pursue all you want.
-Jim Rohn, American Entrepreneur

     I don't exactly know how to feel right now. Somehow, we found Clyde's mom's house and now we're just standing in front of it. It's kind of small, with little square-trimmed shrubs lining it. The windows support flower boxes, which are filled with blooming marigolds and a  blue Volvo is sitting in the driveway.  Immediately I spot some sort of toys laying in the front yard, little blocks and small dolls. I decide to keep that observation to myself, because when I glanced over at Clyde he was beaming. I've never seen him so happy. We marched up to the townhouse and Clyde promptly knocked on the door. All of this was done in complete silence.
     "The house is nice," Beij murmured. We gave each other an uneasy-what-if-this-goes-horribly-wrong-look. I looked down at my hands, which were pale as ever. I guess I'm pretty nervous. We waited in anticipation, and I looked back at the van. Frank gave me a thumbs up sign from inside the vehicle, because he said it was best he didn't come in the house. For some reason I wish I was with Frank right now, so I didn't have to deal with this. All of a sudden I heard footsteps, and the door flew open.
     A woman stood before us. And she looked exactly like Clyde. I shivered.
     "Clyde?" The woman voiced in concern. Her voice was strong, it sounded like she was a good singer. Gee, I wonder where Clyde got that from? She also had piercing blue eyes, like a husky. She had straight, ink black hair that touched her shoulders and a long face and sharp jawline that matched Clyde's. The only difference in the two were their nose structure, and their lips. Hers were red and full, and dimples formed when she smiled. She looked like she smiled a lot, unlike Clyde. She embraced Clyde, not realizing that Beij and I were awkwardly standing there. For some reason I grabbed Beij's hand, and didn't let go until we were inside. Both of our knuckles were turning white because we were so nervous. I looked around the room to see that it was completely ordinary, but something was very off. I could tell that someone else lived here. I smelt Kraft macaroni and cheese, and spotted a few small pink scrunchies on the coffee table. I wish Sharky was here, I wish Sharky was here, I wish Sharky was here. I repeated this phrase in my head, over and over.
     Clyde and his mom were still talking, but I couldn't hear them. I felt distant, like I shouldn't be here right now. It seemed uncomfortable to be standing here, witnessing this "supposed-to-be" private moment.
     "Oh, these are my friends!" Clyde's voice snapped me out of thoughts.  The wo- I mean Clyde's mom, eyed me suspiciously.
     "I'm Sebastian..." I avoided her eyes. She put on a grin and shook my hand. Her small hand was warm, and delicate in mine. I could feel the blood coursing through it. She was completely human, I forgot about that. Just then, a small, fire-engine red blur caught my eye. The "blur" was actually a person. A very very small person. She was peeking at me from around a corner in the living room, and I waved at her. She looked me up and down, smiled a toothy grin, and ran right at the back of Clyde's mom's legs. Or should I say her mom's legs?
     "MOMMY!" She cried, reading my mind. It was weird, because she looked nothing like Clyde nor her mom. I came to the conclusion that there was someone else in the family too, and that someone else was a different dad than Clyde's. The little girl apparently knew about Clyde, and basically everything about him. It's like this family was just waiting for Clyde to come back. Why didn't they try to find Clyde themselves? My head started swimming from all these unanswerable questions, and I just wanted to be alone. I asked if it was okay if I enjoyed the view from their porch, and I think they said yes even if they were unsure about me.
       I closed the screen door to the house, and shielded my eyes from the sun. I still kept my hood up because the last thing I wanted to do was freak out Clyde's family with my horns. Maybe I already freaked them out? I wouldn't know, they were the types of people to mask their emotions like experts. I'm glad Clyde wasn't like this, his eyes give away everything. It smiled to myself. I flipped open my cigarette box and popped one into my mouth. I lit it, and took a long drag. I closed my eyes and took in the moment. I can't believe this is happening.
     I know I should be happy for Clyde, but something seems not right. Why am I not happy for him? He just found his mom! But she wasn't there for him, and she could have found him. All she had to do was go to that boy's home and get that fucking letter! She could have been fucking there for him!! I didn't realize that hot tears were forming in my eyes until I wiped at them. My wrists were beginning to burn, and my whole body was getting red. I clenched my fists, knowing what was about to happen. I furiously kicked one of those stupid ass square shrubs, and was about to chuck my cigarette into next Tuesday when I heard the screen door slam open.
      "Hey, what's going on?" Clyde's gentle, concerned voice soothed me. I started cooling down, and I really hoped he didn't see me go ballistic.
     "Nothing, I just have a lot to think about." I looked away so he couldn't see my tears.
     "Yeah, me too." He answered. I finally turned to look at him.
     "You promise not to leave us? I mean, you won't abandon us for your mom, right?" I didn't really know how that sounded, but I wondered if it as true. Beij, Sharky, Frank and I were his true family, so he wouldn't just kick us to the curb, right? I don't know, maybe I'm just being selfish?
     "Of course not. I love you guys." That didn't reassure me much, but I'm glad he was honest. We continued talking, watching the sun slowly dip under the many buildings and neighborhoods.
     "I think I want to marry Beij," Clyde softly said, looking into my eyes. Was he asking for my blessing? It was understandable to start thinking about marriage, he was immortal and Beij was pretty old too. Or was she? Were they moving too fast? How would I know anyway? I told him that it would great if he did marry her, and he went back inside. I followed him, and I smelt a sort of pot roast. I guess we were staying for dinner. I plunked myself on the couch, and watched Beij sprinkle some sort of spice onto the roast. She was helping Clyde's mom make dinner, and their matching aprons made me realize that they instantly got along. I sighed, and found Clyde's half sister, Rose, staring at my head. I touched my hood, and found that it had fallen down.
     "Can I touch your horns?" Rose shyly asked me. I smiled. I always was a sucker for kids.
     "Sure. It won't hurt if you touch them. They're made of bone." I fixed the purple barrette in her fiery hair as she wrapped her hand around my horns. Across the room, I made eye contact with Clyde's mom. She smiled a sincere, heartwarming smile. I smiled back.
     "Wanna see something cool?" I asked Rose, her big round eyes beaming up at me.
     "YEAH!" She screeched.
     "Okay, get ready!" I whispered excitedly at her. I took a nickel out of my pocket and cupped her ear.
     "Look! I think I see something in your ear!" I said. I smiled so much my face hurt.
    "Where?!" She giggled, frantically searching around her ear. I produced the nickel from my palm and held it out in front of her. She put her hands up and laughed loudly. I took her hand and wrapped it around the change.
     "You keep it," I said. She jumped into my arms and I closed my eyes again. This will work out, it has to. In the end we will all be happy no matter where we'll end up.

-R