Learn How To Fight

WeLcOmE tO d°e°p°r°e°ssion

*flynn's POV*

   As soon as my dad and I got home Ms. Rodriguez called. My dad looked pissed, but not surprised or disappointed just pissed. He looked as of he knew this was gonna happen. We didn't talk at all he knew of he got be talking the first thing I was going to say wasn't going to be pleasant and I knew that too. So I kept my mouth shut. I'm still going to Ella's house, I do what I want. And keep this between you and me, I haven't been taking my meds since last week. I though I would be fine. I thought I was fine.

"Hello... Yes... No I'm fine and he's fine... Yes I'm sure... No, my son is not crazy. He does not need therapy... No, not that I know. I didn't know he has antidepressants, how would you except me to know if he goes to therapy..."he said with his hand on his forehead, I just looked at him and rolled my eyes. A few minutes later he hung up the phone.
"Flynn we need to talk."he said.
"Sono stanco (I'm tired). Probably later."I said trying hard not to sound mad, because I'm not.
"Flynn you know this is serious."
"Uhuh."I said calmly just walking away, upstairs, to my bed.
   I laid down. Calmly, with nothing in my mind to distract me. But I got bored of thinking of nothing. Not even bored, I got tired of it. I'm tired of staring at a blank wall called life. I'm just tired of looking at it, of being in it. So I close my eyes and the night mare is over. I start making my blank wall a piece of art.
   I'm sitting on a stool in my bathroom. Its a cool calm and collected I think Saturday though it feels like a Friday. And its a cool calm and collected, and it seems like a cool calm collect Saturday. I don't feel that way. A weight on my shoulders I cant get off. My head feels like a volcano ready to over flow with lava. Red hot feelings I keep to myself to save other peoples happiness and not destroy theirs like mine is. But I cant hide anymore. I'm tired of hiding. Some people already know I'm hurting. So I might as well show them. Pocket knife as sharp as can be ready to poke thought my skin. Three cuts on each wrist. Six rigorous screams. Zero failing attempts. And it hurts to cry when I don't feel bad.
   This is no blank wall. This is a messed up master piece that I hoped life would be. But feeling that way is not what I want. No one to help me, to help me stop feeling this way. No one understands.
   I sit up immediately and rest my head on my knees. Ella, I forgot I have to go to her house. I look for my phone under my bed sheets to check the time is was 7:50pm. I stand up and speed walk to my bathroom to take my antidepressants. As soon as I take a sip of tap water. I looked at myself in the mirror.
"What the fuck." I said chuckling.
   I grab my phone and my leather jacket then check if someone is in the hallway. And there's nobody. So I go down hoping my dad isn't downstairs, I don't want to talk to anybody about what happened today.