Kisses and Cuddles ~ BoyxBoy

I Love You

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Grant Hues
17

Haden Joshua
18
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Grant's P.O.V

Today started out great. I woke up early to see the sun rise, I took a long hot bath, and relaxed on the couch. With a smile on my face I walked into school with my head held high. Butterflies swirled in my stomach seeing Haden leaning on my locker.

Wrapping my arms around him, my cheeks hurting from smiling. "Hey babe, I just had the best morning ever!" I squeal happily pecking his lips. Concern filled my eyes seeing his nervous face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, so tell me about your morning," Haden said pushing off my locker allowing me to access it. Happily I told him every last detail, except for the bath part. Haden has stayed silent like he usually does.

"So How was the party last night? Kids were posting photos on Instagram this morning about the whole thing. It looked crazy," I said looking up into Haden's eyes.

"Uh, it was great. Would have been better with you there," Haden kissed me softly on the lips. I giggle with a faint blush on my cheeks. Biting my lip I shut my locker door and interlock our hands.

"Haden I love you. You know that right?" I ask swinging our arms in between us. Looking over in his direction, I frown seeing him looking off into the distance. I looked ahead to see a pretty empty hallway with only a few people.

I sigh quietly and lower my head. Haden wasn't very open with me. He hid a lot of things. Good or bad, it didn't matter. I love him though and I hurts me every time. He's a great boyfriend, it's just sometimes he isn't the best listener or advice giver.

I've known something has been up with him. He doesn't text me good morning. He never tells me he loves me. When we are on dates he does his best to hide himself. I've wondered if Haden really wants to be with me. It could just be him stressed out. But my gut says otherwise.

"I have to go baby, I'll see you at lunch," Haden said not looking at me. I open my mouth to say something but he's already walking away. Looking down the hall behind me, I debate on following him. Gulping I walk down to hall peering behind the corner. Haden was walking pretty fast. Stepping out of my hiding I walk after him.

Turning the corner again I watch as he darts into a room. Furrowing my brows I walk up to the door pressing my ear to it. My heart pounded in my head hearing chuckled and giggles as things are moved around.

"Be quiet, we don't want anyone hearing us," the whisper made my heart sink. My lip trembled as I clutched my fingers around my blue shirt. "Hmmm, you're so sexy baby, it's been so long since I've had sex."

A heavy guilt rested on my shoulders as tears pricked my eyes. "Hehe, your lousy boyfriend's a scared virgin. You won't regret coming to me. Maybe you can dump that boy and maybe go out with me."

"You're right, maybe I should dump him. I mean how am I supposed to say with him if he doesn't give me what I want," my heart clenched. Hyperventilating, I stood up and walked down the hallway. Not knowing where to go, I wondered outside. Sitting on the grass lining the football field and leaning my body against the goal post.

Cries bursted through my throat. Not knowing what to do I pulled myself into a tight ball. I dug my fingernails into my arms. My first heartbreak. I never thought it would hurt this bad. But why do I feel like this.

I felt worthless. Haden made me feel like I meant to world to him. I feel heartbroken. Haden always made my heart beat fast.

Weakness, self hatred, and thousands of fists was all I felt. As my mind spiraled deeper into a dark hole, I listed off all the things about myself.

Worthless
Ugly
Fat
Gay
Weak
Slut

I bite down on my wrist keeping my screams in. Over the years I have found that my worst demon is myself. Any little thing with set it off and I'm putting myself down. I haven't told anyone, not even Haden, because it's embarrassing. I can't stop it and it strikes the most when I'm weak.

My phone rang from my pocket. Pulling it out with shaking hands my eyes landed on Haden's name. Another round of tears shot through me as the memories and words ran through my head. Throwing my phone onto the ground. I don't want to see or hear his voice right now.

"Your not good enough! Your just worthless. A pile of dirt, no one will ever want you," I hissed to myself. My heart shook as my grip on my arms tightened. "You should just kill yourself. Haden doesn't love you, he never will."

"Grant! Baby! What are you doing out here? I've been calling you!" I close my eyes shut tightly. I curled into myself more. "Baby, what's wrong?" The concern wasn't there in his voice.

"Go away," I whispered holding in my tears. Feeling a warm hand on my back made me explode. "Just go! I understand you don't love me okay! You don't have to pretend anymore! I know I'm useless and ugly and fat! But that doesn't mean it hurts any less!" I shouted.

"What are you talking about?" Haden spoke stumbling away from me. I looked up into his eyes. My eyes felt heavy.

"I heard okay. You were in the closet with that girl, I know I would never be enough. I just don't know why you didn't end it with me sooner. You could have had better. Anything would be better than me," I cried falling onto the ground.

"Baby, that's ridiculous. You're more than enough. I don't want to end things with you. I was never in some closet with any girl," Haden said kneeling onto the ground next to my side.

"But I followed you. You've been acting weird, I saw you go into that closet I heard everything!" I shouted more tears invading my sore eyes.

"You must have went to the wrong door. I was talking with Mr. Hanson to see if I could skip the last period with you. I can explain my weird behavior, just not right now," Haden said rubbing my shoulder with his thumb.

"So you're not cheating on me?" My lip trembled as I looked up at Haden. He shook his head. A cry slipped through my lips as I fell into his arms. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have followed you. I'm terrible," I cried into his chest.

"You have all the right to baby. I mean I would be skeptical if you started acting the way I do. I promise you that there is nothing bad happening," Haden said kissing the top of my head. "How about you come on the date I have planned for us."

"You've been planning a date?" I ask looking into his eyes. He nodded his head. A smile spread on my lips. I stood up grasping Haden's hand in mine. He walked me to my class, kissing my head before leaving. I sat through the rest of school until the last period. Haden took my things telling me to come with him.

We left to his car. His hand clasped with mine. His thumb would rub the back of my hand. "So, where are we going?" I asked turning in my seat. Haden shook his head glancing over at me.

"Not telling!" He sang with a goofy smile. I chuckled sitting back in my seat. Minutes later we parked near a restaurant. A smile graced my lips remembering the memories of this place. This was the exact same place that Haden and I met. He ran into me spilling pop all over me. Since then we've been friends. Haden asked me out four months after our first meeting and it's all history after that.

He took me into the restaurant. We sat down ordering our food and drinks. Haden seemed nervous and scared. I held his hand in mine. "Grant, I have something to tell you," Haden spoke gripping my hand tightly. My brows came together when he stood up standing in front of me. "Grant Hues, I've had you by my side long enough to know what I want. You've been inside my head since the moment I saw that smile. You've been in my heart since the day you said yes. We are almost done with high school and I don't want to see you leave. So Grant will you take this ring, to show all the men and women of this world that you belong to someone, that you belong to me? Grant Hues, will you marry me?" Haden asked getting on one knee popping out a ring box.

A smile spread on my lips. Nodding my head with tears in my eyes. Haden stood up, me doing the same, he slipped the beautiful ring on my finger. He held my cheeks in his hands. "I love you Haden," I said through tears. Haden's own tears sprung out causing us to laugh.

"I love you Grant," Haden said pressing his lips to mine. We held each other in an embrace for a minute or two before returning to our meal. I can't wait for the moment Haden and I move in together. Or plan our wedding, have kids, pets, and grow old together.