imagines ↠ nialljameshoran

He helps you through anxiety attacks

[Trigger warning. I'd like to have Niall to help me through my anxiety. haha Enjoy!]

"You're going out again?" You question your boyfriend after he tells you of his plans for the evening which again consisted of going out with his friends for a few beers. Again. For the third time this week... It's Thursday.

"Just for a pint or two, yeah." Niall responds, giving a shrug of his shoulders, clearly not picking up on your dislike to this news. "What are you going to do this evening?"

"Well I was hoping to spend it with my boyfriend but he would rather be off with other people so I don't know now." You grumble as you stand from the couch and go to head out of the living room and into the kitchen. The dishes needed to be done so maybe now was the time to do it and distract yourself from your anger.

"You're mad?" Niall followed you into the kitchen, a frown set onto his adorable little face. You look over at him as you start to run the water over the dirty plates piled up in the sink and look into his confusion filled blue eyes.

"You've gone out just about every night this week." You inform him but see that still doesn't sink in or why that was wrong. "Why can't you just stay here and spend time with me?"

"I do spend time with you!" He argues, leaning against the counter next to you as you begin to rinse a plate. "I've been here with you all day." You roll your eyes.

"Oh wow, look at you! This will make headlines, 'Niall Horan spends an entire afternoon with his girlfriend! Let's give him a prize!'" You exclaim, rolling your eyes and giving a shake of your head.

"Why can't I go out with me mates? Why is that such a bad thing?" He was clearly getting angry, not understanding why you wouldn't just let him go out and have a night with his friends. Sure, he'd gone out with them a few times this week but why was that such a bad thing? He didn't feel like he was abandoning you or anything, you always seemed fine with it. Or so he thought.

"It's not, but you've gone out almost every day this week! That's my problem." You turn away from the dishes, turning off the water, and turning to face him. He faces you as well and you both cross your arms over your chest. "You should want to be here, with me!"

"Just because I go out with me mates doesn't mean I don't want to spend time with you either, love, don't do that! Don't turn this against me." It was then that feelings of abandonment welled up inside you. Why didn't your boyfriend want to be around you? Why did he feel the need to leave all the time? Were you not good enough to be around? You wanted to stop these thoughts, you knew it wasn't true but once the small prick of worry started it grew like a wildfire.

"Why don't you want to just stay here with me?" Your voice was quiet now, you could no longer find it in you to yell. There wasn't enough breath in your lungs for such a thing anymore. You see Niall frown at you but at this point you were so focused on the tightening in your chest, the shaking of your hands and the way your mind kept screaming at you that Niall didn't want to spend time with you, that you weren't good enough, and that's why he always went out. "Am I not enough to stay home with? Or to even take out with you? I-i..." You were breathing heavily at this point.

"Love, what's a' matter?" Niall reaches out for you, resting his hand on your arm but you shake your head, trying to take in a full breath but you just couldn't.

"Do you not love me? I don't understand. Why do you have to go out all the time?" You wanted to stop talking, you had to stop saying these things, but you just couldn't. Your mind was screaming them at you.

"No, no, it's not like that, I promise." You feel your knees begin to shake as you lean against the counter. Niall picks up on your weakness and reaches an arm around your waist. He braces you against his body just as your legs give out. "Love!" He exclaims as you begin to sob into his chest. "What's going on?"

"I.. i can't breathe." You gasp and begin to cry harder. Niall then falls to his knees, bringing you with him. He pulls you against his chest and brushes his fingers over your hair.

"Alright, you're okay. Breathe with me, sweetheart, breathe with me." He takes in deep breaths and you try to follow along but it was so hard so instead you just bury your face in the fabric of his shirt and cry. That felt like the better thing to do right now. You were still grasping for breath and Niall could feel you shaking. He didn't know what to do, he had never seen you get like this. He knew you got anxiety but had never had to help you through an attack. So he just holds you tight against him and kisses at the side of your head.

"I'm sorry." You gasp out, feeling more and more ridiculous as the seconds passed. "I-i just, I-i don-"

"Shhh, it's alright. Just sit here with me for a momen', okay?" You nod as he kisses at the top of your head and begins to gently rock you back and forth as he hugs you tighter against him. The comfort of his body against yours, his voice whispering in your ear, the kisses against your forehead were helping bring everything into focus again. He was here, Niall was here with you, he loved you, he did. There was no reason to panic, and that began to help you calm down. "I love you, you know that, righ'?" You lift your head and look up into those blue eyes that you adored, seeing that they looked a little watery.

"Yes, of course I do. I just..." You didn't know how to put into words how you felt so you just shake your head but he seems to understand as he gives you a nod. "I love you, I know you love me, I just like spending time with you and worried that you didn't-"

"I want to be here with you, always and forever, love." He assures you, resting a hand on your cheek. He wipes at your wet cheeks, causing you to nod.

"You can still go out tonight. I promise I won't be mad." He gives a small laugh and shakes his head before leaning down to press his lips against yours. You return the pressure, reaching up to run your fingers along his stubble covered jawline as he tugs you just a little bit closer against him.

"Right here is where I want to be." He whispers against your lips and you know he means it and the last of your anxiety floats away as his lips move against yours again.