The Last Fall

29

CAI's POINT OF VIEW

After walking away from my Mom like that, I felt horrible. However, I didn't want to talk about the situation any further. Yeah, it's hard going through the same shit everyday at school but I know Moms. I know that she would instantly want to go up to my school and end every single thing. Me being a senior and a snitch who ran home to tell Mommy? I can't let that happen. Plus, my Mother is too Brooklyn- her going up there wouldn't be a pretty sight.

I've already told her too much anyways...
I hope she forgets all that I've said...

While I stood in the bathroom, I looked at myself in my mirror and then looked down at my wrists. They were healing...but not for long.

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"My apologies, Ma...I just had to take a moment." I said as I sat down in my seat and avoided looking into her eyes. I knew that she was staring at me and sometimes I hated that because she knew me better than I knew myself.

She could see when I was hurting and when I was happy.

"I understand. I just...care about everything that you're going through, Cai. You're my daughter..." She said to me.

I slouched down in my chair due to embarrassment and played with the bottom of my shirt.

"You just don't know how it feels to get bullied." I told her as I kept my head low.
I was feeling all kinds of hurt and pain.
I just don't show it.

"And what makes you think that?" She asked me.

I was silent for a moment and continued to fidget with my shirt. I then slightly shrugged my shoulders and peeked up at her. Once our eyes met, I rushed to look down into my lap once again.

"I-...I don't know. You're not like me." I finally let out.

"Cai, little do you know? You and I are alike in many ways, baby girl. Not only do we both have multiple passions but we are also filled with so much life. Haven't you ever realized that? I see so much more of myself in you than I do your Father. And yes, if you're wondering. I do know how it feels. I've had many forms of bullying believe it or not." She told me.

I then looked up at her and raised one of my eyebrows.

"Really?" I asked her as I sat up straight in my seat. "When?" I added out of curiosity as I crossed my arms on the table.

"Lets see, when I was in high school and even when I was in a play during my older years. Well, when I was in a play- it was just pettiness going on backstage but other than that. Different forms, you know?"

"How did you get through it?" I asked her as I watched her move her glass of water back and forth on the table lightly.

"Uhm..." She said as she looked at the water and took a deep breath. "Prayer?" She finally said.

"Prayer." I repeated as I too looked at her glass of water.

"Do you pray?" She asked me in a light voice.

"Yes. Every night."

"About what?" She asked me as she lightly tilted her head at me and smiled.