The Last Fall

Guilt and Forgiveness 🌹

CHERYL's POINT OF VIEW

While sitting at work, I checked my messages and once again left Shemar on read for the 100th time in the past couple of months. Lately, he's been texting me and trying to talk to me but I still can't talk to him.

He's been trying so hard but my hopes were for him to leave me alone. Yet, I know how he is.

One thing that I find interesting is that I still have the promise ring on that he gave me all those years ago.

Maybe I do miss him but after what I did?
Our friendship hasn't been the same.
It's been turned off.

I'm ready to forgive myself for what I did to him.
I'm tired of holding what I did to him against him.
If anything, he should be mad at me.
He doesn't deserve being ignored.

So, I texted him and said hey back.

Before I knew it, I got a fast response.
Apparently, he wants me to come to a party with him at one of his friends house warming tonight.

Even though it was a late notice invite- I hesitated but I went ahead and said yes that I'll go.

I sighed and stared at the words that I had just sent.
I can't believe that I actually agreed to go and that I even persuaded myself to even stop acting the way that I've been acting towards him after so long.

"Cheryl, Jordan hasn't spotted you at work?" Marla asked me as she sat her things down next to me. I looked at her and then put my phone away.

Marla and Inaya came back finally. It was the end of the week and that meant that it was time for me to finally have my baby girl, Dana and my son, Ciyle. I haven't seen them in a while and I miss them more than ever. Even though I have been enjoying Caiya's company but sometimes it gets hard raising her. I'm still flabbergasted at what she had recently done because I didn't think that she had any interest to engage at such a young age.

"'No. I've been hiding out. Anyways, guess what I just did." I said as I placed my hand on my forehead and asked myself why in the world did I even.

"What?" She asked me as she turned towards me in her chair.

"Apparently, I'm going to a housewarming party with Shemar tonight. It's one of his old friends that he used to be apart of a cast with."

"That's great!" Marla said as she lightly squealed and did a little dance in her chair.

"No, no...it's not. I should have said no." I told her as I lightly tapped the table and then stood up. "This-....why do I feel like I just shouldn't?" I asked her as I then started walking back and forth.

"Cheryl, you know damn well that you still love that man. You're wearing the promise ring right now." She pointed out as she looked at my hand.

"I know but after what I did..."

"Cheryl, he obviously forgave you. Look, you're divorced, Trey is out of the picture....so, why not give your best friend a chance? Looking back, seems like you were really in love anyways..."

"Yeah. We were. I just wish that it didn't turn out how it did." I said as I played with my hands.

"Dana just wasn't supposed to be Shemar's. That's just how it worked out." She told me.