The Last Fall

Tony's Letters 🌹

"We've built most of our lives together. Is it my fault for wanting you back because you were honestly all I knew what it came to love? Should I apologize for loving you more than you've ever loved me?"

"Everyday you make it hard for me to love another woman. I can't kiss her without thinking about you. I can't make love to her without wishing that it were you instead of her. I can't create another bond with somebody else that I've made with you once before. Why did you do this to me? My heart weeps at night knowing that you go to sleep without me next to your side. In the middle of the night, I can't help but to look at the empty side of the bed where you once laid your head. I can't help but to not look into your eyes. If I even came close to crying in front of you, I'd probably drop on my knees right in front of you and ask you to come back to me. What do I need to do in order for you not to hurt me again? I felt like you threw my heart on the ground and walked away from it."

"After all we've been through. The ups and the downs- you couldn't spare me your best. Working my ass off for you and our children, I deserved to have your immediate love. How can he jump in front of me and take my place? You said your vows with me...not him. Don't I get some credit for loving you too?
You've had all three of my children and I was there to watch the entire process happen. We created a home together and built what we knew best to build.
I know that you want me and I want you too. Yet, you've hurt me too much and coming back would be a slightly dumb move from a nigga like me. I forgave you the first time, baby. Getting my heart torn out by you a second time would probably leave me lifeless.
This is what you've created.
A torn castle.

"Should I put my heart on the line for you?
Should I put my pain towards the side and start loving you again? Would you drop any man to be with me once again?
I feel as if I've taken advantage of you, Cheryl.
Making love to you that one morning and then leading you on. I wasn't ready. Yet, I wanted you. I wanted you more than anything and I still do. Why did it feel like our bodies connected together so well? Holding you down and making you take it. You gripping the sheets and making me want to put this same position on repeat. Only so I could go so deep and feel your wet, tightness around me.
A feeling that I only crave with you.
A feeling that I lost.
I feel as if you've moved on.

These are simply my letters to you. Yet, I'm still afraid to take that chance with you.

STAR/VOTE 🌹