The Last Fall

No More ✨

CHERYL's POINT OF VIEW

Caiya cried in my lap as if she were the sweet, innocent little four year old that she once was years ago.

During this moment as her mother, I wanted to cry but it was taking everything in my body to hold back my tears. I didn't know how to do certain things when it came to Caiya because she experienced many things that I was never close to experiencing.

Some days I wish that I were the type mother who was close to her children but so many things have been separating us from that possibility. Then again, that's a horrible excuse on my end. They deserve a mom who can always be there for them and help them with anything. Even though I made a lot of mistakes with Caiya, I can still fix them by being there more often. However, she must work with me and let me in too.

I knew about Justin but she never went into detail. Maybe because of this exact reason too but it was my responsibility to step in. I should've received all of the information about this young man that I could find.

As I sat in her bed along with her, she continued crying in my lap and all I could do was rub her head.

It took her almost an hour to finally fess up about what Justin really did to her. How he hit her and made her feel like she was worthless.
Tony's dumb ass was still downstairs being in his feelings and apart of me couldn't even believe that. He was actually choosing to let what we used to have going on become much more important than what our daughter is going through right now.

Finally, she stopped crying and her sniffles filled the room. I looked down at her and pushed some of her hair towards the back of her head. I could see the very sides of her red eyes and her wet cheeks.

"You never told me why you started to cry? He can't do anything to you anymore. Especially after I go to your school tomorrow," I told her as I reached down and wiped the tears off her left cheek.

"I don't know why. Maybe because I dealt with him for so long and I actually did love him at one point. Now, I hate him. And don't go to my school. It's almost over anyways and I don't even see him around anymore. No point," she said to me in a low, sad voice. Her tone dragged as if she felt at her lowest.

"But what can I do to hel—"

"Just be here..." she spoke up.

I sighed and looked over at her door that was closed. "Baby, I'm always here. You just never tell me things," I reminded her.

"There's always a reason for things..."

"And what's the reason for you not telling me things?" I asked her as I stopped stroking her hair and stared down at the side of her face.

"Because," She said as she turned her head and looked up at me. "If you knew everything, you would be broken," Caiya added as she then turned her head towards the side again and reached up to wipe her face.

"What is it Caiya? We all know you've been different lately and I know that it's not just because of what I've done..."

"You're apart of why I do things that I do but no, I can't tell you what really happened. It's in the past."

"Things in the past can always hurt you still. You must talk about them. How can I help you and make you feel better if you don't share with Mommy everything that I need to know? You're not happy and I don't like that. Caiya, I want you to be happy but you need to help me help you!" I explained to her.