The Last Fall

I Need You 🖤

CHERYL's POINT OF VIEW

     While standing in the shower, I just placed my face underneath the water and held it there. I continued to think about Shemar and how I blew him off earlier tonight. I had no choice. I didn't want to talk about the situation anymore and if anything, I'm just unsure about how I want at this point. I honestly want to just stay single for the rest of my life because at the rate that I'm going, I don't have time to build anything else.
     While I was in the shower, I heard the doorbell ringing faintly. I turned off the water, stepped out of the walk-in shower and walked over gently towards my towel. I didn't want to fall and each step I took- I knew that the risk was possible. Once I carefully made it towards the towel, I grabbed it and started drying my body off completely. Next, I put my robe on, opened the door and rushed downstairs to see who was at the door.
       "I'm coming! I'm sorry!" I said as I focused on the five stairs that I had left to venture down. Once I made it towards the door, I opened it and there stood the one man that I didn't want to see in this moment.
       "What do you want?" I asked Shemar as he stood there with the most nervous and saddest look on his face. I hid behind the door and made it to where he could only see my face. He sighed and then opened his mouth to speak.

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Shemar's Point Of View

      "Cheryl, I can't just take a break. I love you too much to not talk to you. Can't you see that I even me not seeing how you're doing after a day is hard for me?" I asked her as I stood there with what felt like my heart stuck in my throat. I wanted to tell her how my heart was feeling but it was hard. Seeing how upset she was with me for no reason was killing me slowly.
       "Shemar, do you not know how important this break will be?"
        "I don't want to know, Cheryl!" I exclaimed.
         "Respect what I want!"
After she said that, I stared at her and just nodded my head slowly.
         "I do respect what you want. I always have. I just don't understand what I did and then, you have me standing here like a random ass nigga who hasn't been holding you down for your entire life. I've taken too many losses with you already and soon, Cheryl- I'm gonna give up and-...I don't wanna give up on you. You're making everything so hard for me and it's like you enjoy breaking my damn heart over and over. Then, I couldn't believe how you walked out on me earlier tonight. You've never-...well, you have but I don't know. I'm just-...I love you." I admitted to her. "So, can I come in  and can we talk?" I continue on.
She gave me a moment of silent and all I could do was stand there looking like what felt like a dummy who had his heart in his hand handing it over to her just so she could be granted the change to rip it all over again. And again...
          "Come in." She finally said in a voice that sounded as if I had got through to her at least a tad bit.
Once I walked inside, I hid my hands deeply into my pockets and watched her as she closed the door. Next, she locked the door and tightened her robe around her body.
          "I'm sorry." She said as she lightly shrugged.
           "Talk to me, baby. That's what I've been wanting all along. Why are you acting like this? When did you like taking breaks and even more, when did you like pushing me away?" I asked her as I took a step forwards towards her but still maintained to keep some respected space.
            "I'm just confused. That's all."
            "Confused about what?" I asked.
            "I'm not sure. That's why I need some time to think. I want to breathe and think. However, you don't want to let me do that and it's making me frustrated." She said as she started walking away from me and started towards the living room without saying another word.
            "Well, that's why you have me. To talk to and help you understand." I said as I followed behind her slowly and thought about what would be best to say next. I didn't want to say anything that wouldn't fit in this fragile moment. She didn't deserve the wrong thing being said. At all.
"I know that I can talk to you, Shemar." She said as she and I then both sat down on the couch. I sat close by her and waited for her to at least say something else but when nothing came, I spoke up.
"How long have we been friends?" I asked as I shifted in my seat and looked over at her while she sat on my left side. Next, I put my hand out for her to grab. She grabbed it and I smiled.
"Since forever. Basically." She said.
"So, that means that- no matter what, you can come to me. I've known you for so long. I know when you're sad, when something is heavy on your mind and I also know when you're at your happiest. Why do you seem so disconnected for me in this moment?"
  "I'm not sure. I've been trying to ask myself the same thing. I don't know." She said as she grabbed a pillow from the opposite side, placed it in my lap and then laid her head down on it. Next, she placed her legs on the couch and just laid there. There is was. The Peps I always knew. The one who loved the fact that I was able to hold her.
"I see. Well, until then- I'm here. Whenever you want to talk- just tell me, okay?" I asked her as I placed one of my hands on her side and the other started to play with her hair. "I love you." I added in a low voice.
"I love you too and I'm sorry for all that I keep putting you through. You don't deserve any of it. Sometimes, I just have my moments." She admitted to me as she placed her hand on my knee and started to softly rub it innocently.
  "I can never stay mad at you. You know this."
"You have the right to be." She said a she sat up and looked at me. "You do." She added as she grabbed my hand and held it in between us.
I had no clue why she was saying that but I didn't care. I wasn't upset. I never can stay mad at her because she's my baby and she always will be. My heart gets soft with her and I love her more than anything in this entire world. I'm not wrong for loving her this hard either.
"Just kiss me." I said as I held a relaxed face and stared at her lips. "Then, maybe...I'll forgive you." I said as I lightly laughed. While I rubbed my thumb against the back of her hand as I held it, I just got lost into her. Who she was and how strongly I felt about her.
Without her having another thought, she broke the hand hold, placed her hand behind me neck and gently rubbed it. Our eyes met and I just waited for the most refreshing moment to come. I needed her to love me. I wanted her to come to me and never leave me. My heart kept yelling it over and over.
"Please, Cheryl. Kiss me." I said as I started to feel my heart drag due to how long she was taking. Why did it feel like every second that was passing by meant that I was loosing her. It was like she was my Princess and I was stuck in this body that I no longer wanted to be in. All that was left to free me was her kiss and I anxiously waited for hers to press her lips against mines. She was the only person who could free me and even if I had the chance to free myself, I wouldn't want to do it. I'd rather her.
Before I knew it, she said, "I am silly. Calm down" and leaned in to kiss me so softly and slowly. It felt like our lips were meant to be and the softness is what made my heart fiddle with her authentic song. Finally having her lips against mines, I asked with the very tip of my tongue if I could deepen it but she pulled away and lightly laughed. Next, she shook her head and I smiled as I watched her lightly blush.
            "What? You act like you're a stranger to my tongue. This thang has been almost everywhere on you already." I said as I lightly laughed and admired her smile. 
           "Yeah but you asked for just a small, regular kiss. You're always trying to do extra.
           "You love it when I'm extra."
           "What if I don't?" She asked me as she thumped the side of my neck and then rubbed the area she harassed
           "I love you." I automatically told her.
She smiled, blushed and bit her bottom lip. "I love you more, baby." She said in the most cutest, innocent voice ever. Her sweetness overwhelmed me. "Can you stay the night with me, please?" She then asked me humbly. I nodded my head, stood up and helped her up as well. While we started walking towards the stairs, I went ahead and took my shirt off because I still hated sleeping with it on. I just wanted to be gently with her tonight. I just wanted to hold her in my arms and never let her go. I wanted to hold her until morning because I already knew that we both had nowhere to go.