The Last Fall

Caiya's Mental Trial's Pt. 4

CAI's POINT OF VIEW

Here comes the hard part:

"It's alright, Caiya. Just think of it as if you're telling me a story. He can't hurt you anymore." She said in a calm tone.

I nodded my head and kept my eyes closed tightly.

"What else happened?"

"He doesn't care about me or how I feel." I then said as I reached up to wipe my face. For a moment, I held my breath to try not to feel the things I felt but I guess she caught onto it.

"Calm down. Just breathe." Dr. B said as she continued to hold my hand. "Go ahead. What else happened. Stay calm. It's just a simple story, remember?"

I nodded my head and picked up where I left off at. "I didn't see him behind me. I-...he caught me off guard. He started touching me. First, he touched my hair and blocked my way from leaving. He didn't want me to leave and he didn't want to-...to let me go. I didn't know what to do."

"Why not?"

"He wanted to do....things to me."

"What did he want to do to you?" She asked me in a calm voice.

"He put me on the countertop and made sure than I couldn't move." I said as I took a deep breath and

"Did you try to fight back at least?" She asked me as she rubbed my hand some more.

I shook my head no and tried not to break the connection by opening my eyes.

"I wanted to but he threatened me. He told me that he would hurt me even more if I fought back. I didn't wanna risk it due to the pain I was already enduring. Once he unzipped his pants, I couldn't stop him. I couldn't even look down at what he was doing because I didn't wanna see what was going on. He held me there and he-..." I said but then I rushed to open my eyes. "I-...I can't." I said as I tried to sit up but Toni gently touched my shoulder for me to lay back down.

"Caiya, you're gonna have to talk about this sooner than later, baby girl. He's not here, he can't hurt you anymore." She said as she smiled at me and rubbed my forehead with her free hand.

"What if he did wanna hurt me again? He said that there would be a second time." I said as I looked at her through my puffy eyes.

"Trust me. There won't be a second time." She assured me. I nodded my head and then closed my eyes once more.

"He-...uhm, was-...uh, after the unzipping he grabbed me, helped me off of the countertop and pushed me in front of him to lead the way towards the living room. Once we got there, I-..." I said as I stopped talking and took a hard swallow. "He uhm, he said some things about how weak I was like my Mom." I finally stated.

"What else happened?"

"He was inside me and the pain was unbeara-..." I said as I then stopped talking.
"I don't wanna talk about it anymore. I'm-...I'm sorry but I just can't. I really can't. I've already said too much and I can't take it back. I'm sorry..." I said as I rushed to sit up once more.

Dr. B looked at me, lightly smiled and patted my hand. Next, she stood up and walked back over towards her chair.

"Caiya, I understand. I really do but sometimes when you talk about the things that happened, you'll realize that none of it was your fault. As you can see, you tried your best to fight back, right?" She asked me as she crossed her legs and stared at me. I looked away from her and became bashful.