Writing Prompts (Over One Hundred)

Writing Prompt 161

     It's hard not being able to tell mama you're heartbroken because you never told her you were in love in the first place.

     The boy who loved me told me he couldn't be with me anymore because I kept messing up and it hurt him too much. It wasn't like I cheated or even turned my eye to another, let alone wanted to, but I forgot how boy's minds work and did things that appeared as me showing interest in other boys. I didn't realize the rules of a boys mind were so frail, that liking another boy's picture would lead to it being said that I'm interested in him, an that the boy I was in love with would take it such and respond to it as so.

     He said he didn't want to get hurt again. Yet he knew how much it hurt me for him to leave.

     I told him I understand, and I did. I understood that he thought I could only fail him. I had shown him such. I just don't think he realized my innocent mind wasn't thinking so deeply, I had thought girls and boys could be friends, that lovers could love, and life could go on. It doesn't work like that in the grown ups world. I don't want to be in the grown ups world.

      Hurt people push people away, and scared people run. I've been hurt. I've been scared. I'm still here.  He isn't, though.

     Truthfully I don't want to be here anymore either, it hurts too much.

     I'm on my feet but it feels like I've been knocked away.

     Tears that are silent speak as loud as any other, and my tears make no sound as they fall to meet the rest at the shower drain.

     Sometimes I wish life could go on, differently than it will, in a different place with different people. Far away where hurt doesn't touch and tears don't fall. Then I remember this life is mine and it won't change, I'm stuck here.

     I don't know if I'll ever find love again, I gave him everything and I bared my soul to his. There was no part of me that he didn't know, I think that's why it hurts worse. Because he saw me as I am and he left. It's not his fault though. I understand. It's just that it hurts, and even pounding water cannot distract me from the feeling of my freshly broken heart.

     I'm so scared that once the hours have passed, he'll realize he doesn't miss me, and that he doesn't need me anymore. And I'm so scared that it's going to hurt even more.

Very fragmented, sorry guys. Thank you for reading.
Payton Janae :)