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Chapter 3

I continue throughout the school day avoiding everybody and trying not to cause trouble. The day goes by faster than I want it to. Before I know it, I am in last period about to leave to go home. I do everything I can to forget that school is almost over. I talk to classmates and draw pictures but the clock continues to count down far too quickly. As the last few minutes of school fade away, I dread it. I would rather stay in this God forsaken place than go home, but life doesn't work like that. 

When the bell rings I unwillingly walk to the bus. I can feel my will power drain from my body with every step I take. Despite feeling strong after 3rd period that strength is now fading. The only thought that makes me feel better is seeing Ronan on the bus. He always makes me feel better whenever I feel sad or weak.

Chloe,my older sister, sits in the back with the other high school students. Middleschool students get on last. I climb onto the bus and select a seat close to the front. We always sit here. I never have any books to take home so I save his seat by propping my feet in it. I try my best to be patient but I can't wait to see my best friend.

People begin to pile onto the bus. I notice a tiny black girl get on. I have no idea what her name is but people pick on her because she has a flat chest, but it was mostly in good fun. She never really seemed to be offended. She passes me and sits in the middle. After her, my brother, Max gets on and right behind him is Ronan.

I feel a small smile crawl across my face. I put my feet on the floor and he sits next to me. 

"What's wrong?" he asks. He must have seen the look in my eyes.

"After I cam back yesterday, last night was just....." I trail off unable to finish.

Last weekend, my siblings and I went to visit Daddy. We watched movies the whole weekend and joked around with one another. It was very pleasant. There were no angry words being exchanged. When the weekend started to come to a close, we all piled in Daddy's truck, met Momma, and she took us home.

I felt so much dread that day. Those feelings stayed with me. Along with the disaster that happened this morning I  feel like I am going to explode. I know that if I don't regain control over myself everything is going to roll off my tongue in an uncomprehensive and disorderly manner. He would have no idea what I was telling him.

I take a deep breath and stable my shaking hands, then I tell him about my wonderful weekend. He listens patiently as he always does. Taking in every word and watching me intently as I play with my jacket sleeve. My eyes beginning to water.

"I'm sorry. He is just a piece of crap. I wish you didn't have to live with him," Ronan replies giving me a sympathetic look. He pulls me into his arms. We stay like this for a brief moment before he changes the subject. Attempting to get my mind off of things.

The bus comes to my stop. Since my house is only the third stop the bus ride is very short. Ronan pulls me in for one last hug then I climb down the bus steps. I wave to him as the bus drives out of sight then I turn to face my fate. My siblings and I all walk in silence to the trailer door. I am the first to reach it.

When I enter, Momma is sitting in the same chair that she was in this morning. Still in the same clothes from this morning. White stained tank top and pink booty shorts. She looks dazed. The cigarette in her hand burned almost to the butt. Momma must have forgotten that it is in her hand. Its ashes on the floor under her hand.

Chloe, my older sister, walks past me to the dining room then stops dead in her tracks. Her eyes focusing on the floor. Max does the same. That's when I notice it too. The small puddle of blood and clear broken glass across the hardwood.