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Chapter 2

The school bell rings for class change. The knot in my stomach starts to appear again. I pick up my books off my desk and leave the room. The hallway begins to become too crowed to ignore. All I have to do is make it through the rest of the school day. This is what I keep telling myself.

I walk to my locker. Trying to ignore the crowd of students passing me by, I throw my unneeded useless books into it, but I do not leave immediately. I just stand there staring into my locker at my physical science book and asking myself if I will need it or not.

My aching heart told me no but my brain told me different. Ignoring my brain, I slam the metal door shut. Screw it. I'll take the zero. I don't care.

Reluctantly, I head down the end of the hall to my classroom. I notice the door to the outside world. What would happen if I kept walking? If I just walked right out of school. Would I be able to escape? Could I keep walking?

Even if I could leave school without anybody noticing, where would I go? Home? No. It's not even a home. Maybe I could go to a gas station. Come to think of it, that is a stupid place to go. What on earth would I do there?

Thinking for a moment, it comes to me. I can go to Daddy's house. It is a two hour drive so how long would it take me to walk? Four hours? Five? Maybe even longer. That's impossible. I could never walk that long. Besides I don't even know how to even get there.

The tardy bell rings bringing me out of my thoughts. I could feel the discouragement welling inside of my heart. To my sudden realization, there was no escape. Feeling defeated, I walk past the door and right into Mr. Copland's science class. I can feel the tears welling in my eyes. I make my way to the back of the room and plop in my seat. My friend, Dean, sits next to me. He just stares at me. He never asks me what was wrong nor offers me any kind comfort.

I fold my arms around my head and lay it down on my desk. The feeling of defeat overwhelming me. Tears begin rolling down my face. My attempts to focus on anything else but my pitiful existence failing. I look straight ahead at the wall. I have barely noticed my friend Dean sitting next to me.

I hear the teacher's voice but I cannot comprehend what he is saying. There is no point in listening to his announcement since I have no intention of doing the work. I can still feel the tears falling down my face. Before I know it, Mr. Copland is passing out worksheets and placing one on my desk. I look up at him and he back at me. He pauses for a moment then continues to pass out the worksheets.

There really is no hope is there? It seems that teachers who see my pain turn a blind eye to it. My classmates who see pain in anybody only point it out to others and make you feel even worse.

I try to imagine what would have happened if he had pulled me aside to talk. Could I have told him and if I did would it have ended badly? He would have told me to go to the office and from there they would have called Momma. Momma and Matt would deny everything and I would be in serious trouble. Talking is not an option. The only option I have is too tough it out. 

I dry my tears and a few seconds later I am strong again.People see somebody's weakness and they will attack. People will stop at nothing to make your life hell. If I was given power to destroy these people, I would do it. I would make everybody's life better and make mine just a little better. 

I take my pen out of my pocket and start on my work sheet. I will not give up this easily. After all, it has only been three months.