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Chapter 78

Momma continues yelling. I blurt out that she picked Matt over us. She always told that she would never pick anyone over us, but she did and I was calling her out on it. I could see the anger growing in her eyes. She told me that someday I would understand and walked out. 

Like I would ever understand someone picking a man over her children. I will never understand that. You chose a dirt bag over your own children, your own flesh and blood. You let him belittle us. You let him tear us down and what did you do? Nothing!

Matt continues his ranting in the living room as well. He says that I am to leave that I am gone and no longer welcome. He tells me that I hurt him and Momma, but I don't care. I am tired of this. I am tired of them playing the victim all the time.

The fighting in the house increases. I voice my opinion over and over. The pent up anger and hurt spilling out of my mouth faster than I can comprehend it. It is as if my mouth has a mind of it's own. Max jumps in and says that he wants to leave to. He wants to move in with Daddy as well and I do not blame him. 

Momma and Matt focus their attention on Max. They tell him that he is no longer welcome in the house either and that he was gone as well. I make a comment that they are merely using Grandmomma and Papa which forces Momma's hatred back on me. Regardless if she liked it or not it was true. She was using them and there was no excuse for that. 

We were up late yelling at each other. Instead of yelling, I could have been in a car talking to my friend and possibly eating ice cream. I know that I could never leave my brother and sister.

Eventually we get tired of each other at around two in the morning. A few hours later we had school. I was glad I could get out of that house. I would rather be at that God forsaken school than stay one more horrible minute at that house.

My body hurt but I didn't care. I just had to keep it all together for a little while longer. I had to be strong. I had to compose myself inside and out. I could leave soon. I just had to make it a couple of more weeks. 

Within a couple of weeks, I would be far away from them. I would be away from the screaming, the fighting, the drugs, and them. I would be away from all of it. I just had to keep it together. I just had to stay strong for a couple of more weeks. Just a couple of more weeks. It's the last couple of weeks until school will be over. Summer is almost here. It's so close I can taste it. I wanted to go to Daddy's as soon as I could.