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Chapter 46

Momma and Matt are not getting along, but then again what else is new. School was better than this and that is saying something. They have been snapping at each other over basic little things. You can cut the tension between them with a knife. You can feel the anger and malice radiating off of them like heat off asphalt. 

I just want to lock myself away from them and never get involved with their fighting. I just hope that they won't drag us into their argument. This is between Momma and Matt not me. This is their crap to deal with.

The fighting increases into the night. I have relocated to the kitchen. Matt is yelling as the top of his tar ridden lungs when suddenly he stops. Someone has pulled into the driveway. I saw it when he opens the door to leave. 

I just turn back around and start washing the dishes again. It is none of my business. Like I said earlier, this is between Momma and Matt. When I get done with the dishes, I pour myself a glass of coke and go back to my room.

Matt left leaving me with the others. As the hours tick by, Momma grows increasingly worried, but I am not. Why can't she just let him go? Let him leave. Change the locks and don't let the SOB back in ever again. Instead she goes to look for him.

It was so late at night. It might have been ten or eleven o'clock at night. It could have been later than that.

When Momma and Matt came home they were fighting again. I could not only hear Matt when he walked in the house but I could smell him to. I could smell him from across the house. He came walking to the back where our rooms are. He began yelling at me and everybody else.

His eyes not only held complete hatred but they were blood shot red as was his face. His breath smelled of whiskey. He was slurring his every word, until he screamed at me. Momma tried to tell him to leave me alone. He merely turn his anger toward Momma. I don't even know what he was so angry about. What did I do?

At that time, I had never seen him that bad. I slowly backed away to my room and crawled into my bed. I stayed in my room trying not to draw attention to myself. That night......I thought that was going to be the night he snapped. I thought that we were all going to die. I was scared and I don't usually get scared when it comes to things like that.

Everyone was in a separate room. There was no way I could bring myself to come out of my room to go to Max's room. I couldn't block my door because the lock had been taken off and Momma took the board away. I had nothing to defend myself with and as little as an 8th grader there would have been nothing I could do to stop him.

Matt could have really hurt me if he wanted too. I don't want to feel that scared ever again. A house is supposed to be a refuge from the outside world. A place to be safe and happy. It's not supposed to be a place where you fear for your own safety. You shouldn't have to worry that when your guardians come if they will be angry, stoned, drunk, high, or just in a mood to smack you around.