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Chapter 5

A scream pierces my once peaceful slumber and jolts me awake. 

"I f_____ hate you," Momma. Some sort of object breaks in the other room. I hear a moan escape a Matt's lips.

I roll over onto my back. As I stare up at the ceiling, I try to imagine life without the fighting. I remember the families on television commercials that seem so happy. They always look like they have no idea what an argument is. Is that what a real family is supposed to be like? I don't even know anymore.

The clock on my nightstand flashes 4:06 a.m. It surprises me. They don't normally get up this early. They continue to break the objects and curse at each other. It is so hard to sleep with all the noise. It is almost impossible to drown it out except with television, but I don't dare turn it on. That will draw unwanted attention to me and I don't want that.

I feel bad for Chloe. They are fighting on the other side of her bedroom wall, but she is in the same situation as me. There is nothing she can do to change anything. The only thing we can do is attempt to drown it out without television.

I place a pillow over my head to try and block everything out. How did it all come to this? How do you love someone one day and the next hate them? How can you live like that?

An hour later it is over, but I am already awake. The only thing I can do is lay in bed and wait till it is time get up for school.

When I walk out of my room to go to school, I notice the blood and glass on the kitchen floor again. I sigh and walk to the front door. Maybe they will clean it up this time, but I know this is highly unlikely. I enter the room and see Momma sitting in one of the chairs next to the door smoking a cigarette. A large bruise covers her upper arm and shoulder. She looks half asleep sitting there. 

"Good morning baby. I am not feeling real good this morning. Will ya'll clean up the house this afternoon?" She says finally coming to the realization that I am standing right next to her.

I felt a flash of irritation go across the back of my brain. I already cleaned their blood off the floor. I don't want to do it anymore. I'm tired of doing it. I'm tired of all of it. 

"Okay sure," I say instead of what I want to say. Clean up your own mess! Regardless of how tired I am of cleaning up after them, I agree to do it anyway like a good daughter. I look over at Matt in the other chair. He has not said a single word to me. He never even looks in my general direction. He has a few cuts and some blood on his face.

 Chloe walks into the living room and I turn to walk out the door. Chloe follows behind me, ignoring the mess. She takes one look and continues on her way. We all wait for the bus and go to school. We continue as if this is an average day for us and the sad thing is that it is an average day. 

The school day passes. The whole time I am hoping and praying that Momma and Matt have attempted to clean up the mess. I know in my mind that is not going to happen. They never clean it up, but in my heart I am still hopeful.