PRETTYMUCH a Lie [n.m]

Twenty-Five

Amelia

I slowly opened the door while gripping the test in my hands as I walked around the corner. Everyone looked up from their phones and I cleared my throat.

"It's... positive. I am pregnant." I stammered out.

What have I done.

Actually, saying it out loud seemed to unlock a new level of anxiety and fear, making the statement true. My stomach was completely empty, well, I guess in reality it wasn't, but it sure felt that way.

A million thoughts soared through my mind as I contemplated all of the scenarios in my head. I wasn't ready for a child.

"Holy shit," Alison jolted herself from the bed and hugged me.

"It's gonna be okay. Amelia, I don't mean to sound rude or anything but, congratulations!" she smiled at me after finishing our hug.

Emily and Ansley hugged me as well. There was no hint of a smile evident on my face. I was shocked.

There was a small part of me that felt a warmth coming from inside of me. The other part was still in disbelief. I didn't know what to do. I went and laid down onto the bed and curled into a ball. I wanted to be happy, but this was horrible timing, and Nick lives so far away. We were both so young.

Alison followed behind and sat beside me on the bed while patting my thigh. Emily and Ansley gathered around us in the bed as well.

"It's gonna be okay," Alison kept repeating to me trying to calm my nerves.

I still hadn't spoken a word since I announced that I was pregnant. Hell, I just got finished drinking last night. I know damn well that wasn't healthy. I was already starting to feel like a bad mom and I wasn't even a full minute into finding out I was pregnant.

As we laid in bed and talked about different possibilities and outcomes, Emily mentioned the word 'abortion.'

"Emily please don't ever say that word to me again. It may be early on in my life, yes, but I made the choice to have sex. Nick made the choice to have sex. This is our responsibility and I would never think about doing that to my baby," I started to tear up.

"I'm sorry, I thought we were just weighing our options," she stated with a distraught look on her face.

I gave her a small smile and got up so I could go pee again. Chugging the water bottle wasn't the best idea. Once I was finished I went back to the bed and laid down.

"Are you going to tell Nick?" Alison asked.

"Of course, Ali. I just don't know when," I trailed off.

He probably wouldn't even want to be with me anymore. We had gotten so close these past few weeks. Everything was going so well.

As I drowned myself in scenarios of Nick leaving me, there was a knock on our door. I heard loud voices coming from the other side, yelling and laughing. I knew it had to be the boys. Ansley went to open the door. My stomach dropped when the boys walked in. I tried to keep a neutral look on my face as Nick strutted happily toward me and pecked my lips.

"How are you?" Nick asked me.

"Good," I lied.

Nick sent a confused look my way, but I shook it off and changed the subject.

"Umm, how was yall's meeting? Anything important?" I asked turning my body toward the rest of the boys who were now spread out around my bed.

As they went on about their managers ideas about the music video and how it was going to be filmed in a super secret place, I thought about my mother. She would be so disappointed in me. She's always been hard on me, thinking that I could never amount to much. I know she would love to hear the news that I was pregnant. She would love to rub in my face how much of a "piece of trash" I was.

Ever since my dad died when I was younger, I spent the majority of my time with Ali at her house. Her mother adored me, she treated me like one of her own. My mother was one of the reasons I chose to move away for college, among other things. I really dreaded telling her this news.

Although I know I am young, babies are blessings and should be viewed as nothing but. I know my mother would make it anything but a blessing though.

And that's what hurt.

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-Tay