Roses Diary [S.M]

Hideaway

"They are everywhere..." I am in my car, on my way to Scott his office, as I am calling with my mother. I needed someone I trust to talk to. "This morning when I went to the gym, I barely made it inside. The paparazzi literally stormed my car as soon as the they spotted my car."

"It has never been this bad, right?."

"No, sure they took pictures of me whenever they saw me but every since the pictures came out from Shawn and I... I swear, everyone went nuts."

"Have you thought about hiring extra security? What did Scott say about this?." My mom and her damn security... if it was up to her, I would have had a whole army of security guards around me whenever I went out. She goes a bit overboard sometimes.

"That's really not necessary, mom. I just want to complain about my life for a bit and then I can move on again." Not that my life is bad or anything. Everything except from bad but in every life there are problems. Some have financial problems, the other has health problems, and in my life it happens to be privacy, or the lack of it. Sometimes it's just really nice to bitch about it. Well, yeah... I have one of those moments now.

"What did Shawn say about everything?." O yeah... Shawn. I haven't really had the chance to talk to him yet. He did send me a text message but honestly, after the interview, my phone exploded because the amount of messages and notifications. I didn't knew where to start, so like typical me, I put my phone away and just ignored the whole world around me. Childish? Maybe but I really didn't had the strength to deal with my life and all the craziness that comes along with it.

"I haven't really spoken to him..."

"Why not? I thought that the two of you were back on speaking terms." My mom says, with her typical judging voice. It's great that my mom and I have buried the hatchet and that I let her in on what is going on in my life but that also means that she is allowed to have her own opinion about it. And if there is one thing my mother doesn't find hard to express, then it's her opinion.

"Yea, we are..."- sort off. I cannot really place my and Shawn's relationship in a certain box just yet. "I just need some time to figure it out before I talk to him."

"Rose..."- she sighs loudly. "running away and not talking about what is going on in your head with him, isn't going to do any good. That was one of the reasons why you guys had problems, remember? Communication is key in building a relationship."

"I am not running away.."- Its more like hiding. "I am fine mom. Don't worry about me."

"I will always worry about you. That is my job."

I roll my eyes. She is too concerned about me. There is absolutely no reason for it. "Yeah, yeah. I know."- thank God that I am almost at Scott his office so, that I can escape from this conversation. I am over it. "Mom, I have to go."

"Please talk to him, honey. He has to know what is going on in your head." She adds.

"I will."- probably not but if I am going to tell her that, we will be having this conversation for another hour. "Talk to you later mom."

"Be safe. I love you honey."

"I love you too." And with that I hang up the phone, just as I turn into the street of Scott's office.

I know my mom is right but I just cannot help it. I just close myself off completely. I am not the type of person who express her emotions well. It's just the way I am. I would rather eat myself up inside than to bother someone else with my problems. After all, it's my own issues and I got to deal with them. Not someone else.

My daydreaming is abruptly disturbed by loud screams from outside my car. My heart literally skips a beat as I see the crowd of fans, but mostly paparazzi standing outside of Scott's office building.