Roses Diary [S.M]

Time to speak up

Tik... tik... tik... another minute gone. I swear to God, I am going to pull this clock off the wall if I have to sit here any longer.

I am in a waiting room. The waiting room of a psychologist. Shawn needed help. Professional help. He has developed a trauma due to the car accident. I know he has. When I finally convinced him yesterday, with the help of his mother, I immediately made an appointment with the best shrink in town.

Although, I couldn't go inside with him. Or at least not immediately, I still wanted to go with him. I have to be here to support him. What I didn't factored in was how long this conversation was going to be. I have been sitting in this damn waiting room for over 2 hours now. While Shawn is inside, venting his heart hopefully, it feels like his son is redecorating inside of my belly. If this kid is not going to be a professional soccer play, I don't know it anymore.

Thankfully, everything was fine with the little bean during my 20 weeks checkup. He has a good weight, length, and there are no abnormalities in how he is developing. So, that was a relief. Now that I know one of my boys is okay, I can focus my attention back on my other one.

What else is there to tell? Well, Aaliyah is still in come. Although, her brain activity is going back to. The swelling is shrinking according to her doctor. So, that is somewhat good news.

What else..? Tomorrow is Anna's due date. I don't know how much longer she can handle being pregnant. She already has threatened to take this kid out herself if he is not going to show up any time soon. So, Brain and me are trying our best to keep her calm. Easier said than done.

My parents in law are staying at our house. They moved out of their hotel room the day before yesterday. So, I have to feed those mouths as well. Luckily, Karen is helping wherever she can but honestly, she can help whatever she wants but I just need a break. On top of that my body begins to hurt because of the famous pregnancy ailments, I am mentally exhausted as well. I am trying to take care of everyone single person and honestly, sometimes I just cannot do it anymore.

I look up as the sound of the office door is being opened. Out walks the shrink, followed by my husband.

"So, I will see you next week Shawn?." He says as he holds his hand out for Shawn to shake.

Shawn nods his head. Even though, I cannot see his face, I know he is sad. Or in a 'down' mood. Not that I expected him to be jumping out of that office full of joy and excitement but I did hoped that it would somehow gave him some relief. I just want my husband back..

I stand up from my seat, and whine softly because of the soreness of my asscheeks. For a 400 dollar a hour psychologist, you would think he at least could afford some decent chairs.

My movement attracts the psychologist attention. "Ah! Mrs Mendes. You are still here!."- where else should I have gone? "Can I have a few words with you?."

I look at Shawn, seeking for his approval somehow. When his eyes meet mine, he nods his head.

"Sure." I plaster a smile on my face.

"I will grab our coats." Shawn says as I brushes past him, into the office of the psychologist.

I take in my surroundings before I turn around to the guy. "So..."- he begins as he close the door. "That was a long conversation..."-

No shit Sherlock.

"I promised Shawn to not discuss anything with you."- okay? That is weird. A wife should know about her husband's mental state, right? How else am I going to help him? "Mainly because I am not allowed to discuss it with you but also because he wants to tell you his thoughts on his own terms."- that is less bad, I guess.