Roses Diary [S.M]

Intentions

Why do I keep feeling like shit? Sure, you can get pretty sick from a food infection. No doubt there but it has been a week since we got back into town and it is even longer ago since we where in Turks and Caicos and I actually had the food infection. That should have been over by now, right?

The weird thing is that I am feeling fine most of the days. It is not like I am feeling sick ever since I got back but sometimes, an unease feeling just hits me out of the blue. Just like today, I woke up with the nastiest headache ever and an unease feeling in my stomach. It is not like I am too sick to function but something is just off with my body. Whatever it is, it has to wait until tomorrow because today I first have to record a Q&A and after that I have an appointment with Abigail and that is something I definitely do not want to cancel. I heard that she doesn't know that I will come over to visit her. So, she will be in for a surprise.

"Coffee?." Shawn says as he standing in his boxers in the kitchen, pouring his morning coffee into a mug. Me on the other hand, I am hanging over the kitchen island, looking like a bus toilet or hit by a train. Take your pick.

"Nah." Coffee... only the thought... normally, I cannot survive the day without at least 2 cups of coffee but right now, I just really long for my bed. My bed and nothing else.

"Now I definitely know that something is wrong. You love coffee more than you love me." He says as he turns around and leans against the kitchen counter as he gives me a strange look.

"I do not know about that."- would it be a crime if I said that coffee is at least high in my top priorities? "But it is definitely a close call."

"I rest my case." He mumbles between taking sips "so, what's up? Are you sick?."

I shake my head and jump off the chair. "I just need a shower and then I am good to go." A long hot shower... that will probably do me good.

"What do you say about me joining you for a shower? So, that I can make sure that you relaxes?."

God. Sex. Absolutely not. "You need to keep that thing out of my aura. I cannot deal with it right now." That thing can be very dangerous right now. If I indeed are starting to get sick, that means that my immune system will go down, which can turn into a failure of my birth control and a failing birth control can lead to some unforeseen circumstances. The last thing I need right now is to get knocked up by my boyfriend, I just started dating again, after a break of almost 1,5 year. Can you imagine the panic everyone will be in, if they find out we are not only back together but also expecting a child. I would have to move to Alaska. No place would be safe anymore. So, no no. No sex until we are back in the clear again.

Luckily, after my shower I feel a lot better. Well, I feel somewhat human again. So, that is nice. After covering my face with some makeup to make it seems like I am alive, and throwing on some clothes, I am setting up the camera in the living room to record the Q&A.

Shawn is also here. Lounging on the couch, out of the range of the camera of course but he is here. I hope people didn't send it too awkward questions because I have to give a honest answer and with him in the room, that can be a bit harder to do so. But okay, let see how this goes.

"You have to be quiet, okay?." I say to him as I sit down in front of the coffee table on the ground. Please do not ask me why I thought that this was a good spot to pick. In my head it made sense. I could probably have picked a spot that is a bit more comfortable but yea, I am not really in the mood to change the whole set up again so, we are just going to roll with this.