Roses Diary [S.M]

The road to recovery

"I can work. Nothing is wrong with me." I say for the 10th time to Scott. It has been a week since I have been released from the hospital and all week people have been treating me like I am disabled. It is driving me crazy.

"Rose, you have to rest. You have been through a lot." If this man is going to say this one more time, I might scream.

"You are beginning to sound like Shawn." He has been watching me like a hawk. He literally has a notebook were he writes in what I ate on a day. I am starting to think that everyone around me is becoming insane.

"Maybe you need to start listening to us then."

"What do you have for me today?." I change the topic. I have learned that there is no way with either Shawn or Scott that I will ever win from them in an argument.

He stares at me for a couple of seconds and then sigh deeply. "I assume that you haven't looked online this week."

"No."- I literally bought a new phone so that I could contact friends and family if needed but with no access to the internet. That way I wouldn't be triggered to look at what they are writing about me, about us, online. Shawn has said some things but I didn't really listened to him to be honest. I am terrified to see what crazy things they speculate about me. "I needed some time to recover from everything but I am back..."- I cannot keep hiding away from everything. "So, shoot. What is the gossip."

"You sure? It's not..."

"Yes Scott, I am sure. I am not a small child anymore." I need everyone to stop pretending like I am wounded, so then maybe I can stop acting like it. I hate to feel so weak.

"Okay..."- he doesn't like this one bit. I know that he wants to protect me but he simply can't. "Well, all kinda of crazy rumors are going around but somehow they found out that you had a miscarriage."

"How? Only a limited amount of people know about this." Only family and really close friends know about what happened. There is no way any of them would say anything to the press. That is no possibility.

"Maybe hospital crew or people who were also submitted to the hospital and saw you there."

"Find out and sue them. Especially if it's from inside the hospital crew." That would be extremely unprofessional.

"Alright."- he says as he types something on his Macbook. "I will send it to our lawyers."

"Great. Anything else? What is on the schedule for this week?."

"Nothing really."

"Nothing?." That has never happened before.

"Well, Andrew and I thought..."- o hell no.

"I am going to interrupt you there."- this has to stop. "I know you and Andrew mean well. I know you want to look after me but like I said, I am not a child. Out of everyone I know best if I can work yes or no. You guys can't look inside my body nor feel what I feel."

"You two need a break, Rose. Some days away from everything together. Andrew told me that Shawn broke down inside his office yesterday."- what? Why didn't he tell me when I saw him this morning? "You did know about that right?." He stops as he sees the confusion come over my face.

"No, I didn't. He hasn't said anything about that."

"You see, that is why you both need a break. You need to process this lost together otherwise you guys will grow apart."