Roses Diary [S.M]

Back and forward

"Okay, let's do this guys..."- I talk to my camera as I am walking on the set of Good American. Khloe Kardashian is the ambassador of the brand and she asked me, along with a few other girls to do a shoot. I of course said yes and well, here I am.

I have given the whole vlog thing another thought. Why shouldn't I at least try it? I mean, if people want to see how boring my life actually is well, how am I to thwart that?

So, as I said, here I am, backstage, making a vlog and to be honest with you, it feels so unnatural. Yea, I make record myself at home. Okay, that maybe sounds a bit weird but I mean with cooking and stuff. The difference between me doing my thing in the kitchen and making a vlog of myself is that, when I am cooking I am actually doing something. I do not really realize that the camera is there anymore but now, as I am filming my face... yea, that is really weird to do. I have to keep a conversation with something that does not respond. It is harder than it looks. Believe me.

"Today I am shooting for Good American. As you can see, I first have to get my makeup done before I am ready to shoot the pictures."

"Since when are you doing a vlog?." I look over my shoulder and see Khloe standing there, while at least 3 people are pulling at the outfit she is wearing.

"My management thought that it was a good idea."- I have decided that if I am going to do this, I am going to make it as realistic as possible. So, no fake premeditated scenes or anything. If the fans want to see the real me, the real me is what they are going to get. That also means answering honestly to questions. "It feels so unnatural though."

"Yea, it also looks like it."- that is why I love Khloe. She is straight forward. She simply tells you how it is and I adore that about her. There are not that maybe people in Hollywood who are real. They are smiling in your face but talking behind your back. Luckily is Khloe not one of those people. "I have never seen you this uncomfortable in front of a camera."

I chuckle as I walk towards her. "You hit the nail right on the head. It's so weird talking to something that doesn't respond. How do you do it with your show?." I am a big fan of their show. I literally have watched all the seasons. It feels like I know the family personally for years.

"Gosh girl, I can imagine. If I had to talk to a camera, I would die. I couldn't do that." O yea, it is 'real life' television they make. They are supposed to act the cameras aren't there. I never believed the people who said that you don't noticed that you are being filmed after a while. In my opinion it is complete bullshit. When I was on tour with Shawn, two years ago, I was well aware of when they were recording and when not.

"Rose!."- I turn around and see one of the production people waving at me. "Could you please come over here? We have to do your makeup. We are on a tight schedule."

"Sorry guys! Duty calls." For far my vlog for today.

"This is the last outfit. It's for the group pictures." One of the stylist hands me a light blue wassing jeans and a simple white top.

"Thank you." I smile as I watch Rose as in Rose Bertram, while she is doing her individual shoot. I didn't knew her before today but she is also Dutch. Well, Flemish, so she can speak Dutch as well. It's so weird to actually speak Dutch again. I normally only speak my native language with my family and in general I talk English so, it was weird to actually have a conversation in Dutch again, whit someone who isn't related to me.

Without any problem, I pull my pants down and change into the next outfit. One thing I have learned from me playing model is that shame isn't a quality you should possess and if you do, to let it go really quickly.