Roses Diary [S.M]

Emergency

After a 8 hour during flight, we touch down at Schiphol, the international airport in the Netherlands. While I was still on the phone with Kenneth, Shawn was already busy arranging a flight for us to Amsterdam. He could probably sense that something was seriously wrong, that or my hysterical crying gave it away. Not sure.

Luckily, Shawn was able to rent a private plane that was still at the airport grounds at Turks and Caicos. So, less than 2 hours after we got the call, we boarded the plane with the end destination; Amsterdam.

During the flight, the feeling that something was seriously wrong kept growing and when the pilots asked us to turn off our phones because bad weather was heading our way so, that there was no way to contact them anymore for heads ups, yeah... that was when I freaked out. Like, badly. The thought only of losing Ali is enough for me to break down.

Shawn has been the sweetest. For the whole plane ride he has been holding me tightly in his arms, trying to comfort me as best as he could. He even held my hair back as I threw up the entire content of my stomach. I can no longer blame the food poisoning anymore. This is from pure stress.  Stress about losing someone I love so dearly. It is in moments like this I always have realizations. The moments of crisis always reminds me what is important. Ever since I moved to LA, I have been so caught in my own life, that I barely asked how Ali was doing. She asked me so many times if I could take a few days off to come back home to visit her. She wasn't able to visit me anymore because of her pregnancy. Every time I came up with an excuse why I couldn't come back to home. Work was too busy, my schedule wouldn't allow it, I had to attend a party of someone because it was good for me to be seen with those people. It was always something and now, knowing that I might never going to see her beautiful smile or hear her ridiculous laugh again... that fucks me up. I have been so stupid. I have been prioritizing the wrong things and people, when everything I need, the people who would have always been here, even it nothing happened and I was still a nobody, those people I paid the least attention to... I will never forgive myself if something did happen to Ali and I wasn't there.

"Let me help you baby." Shawn pulls the stuff out of my hands, that I was trying to cram into my bag. "Here." I look up from my hands and see that he is handing me my sunglasses.

"Do I look that bad?."- I can imagine though. I have been crying for hours so, the sight of me is probably not the prettiest one right now. "You know what, do not answer that." I seriously do not want to know.

"You could never look bad."- that ladies and gentlemen is called; love. People who are in love do not see anything anymore. "But Andrew told me that there are already some reporters and paparazzi at the hospital."

"That's nice. My best friend is maybe dying and they preying on who is the first one to bring out the happy news." Ali's Youtube Channel has also popped in the last year. She was already quite big in the Netherlands at the time we were in New York for our internship but her reach then is nothing compared to the amount of followers she has now.

"Baby, you cannot think like that. Everything is going to be okay."

We will see...

10 minutes later, we moved from the plane into the waiting van. Being the over-concerned managers, Scott, Susie and Andrew have hired an army of bodyguards to help us. I am sure that us arriving with a procession of countless bodyguards is going to make it easier for us but right now, I honestly couldn't care less. All I want right now is to get to Ali as fast as possible.

"Susie asks if you want her to meet us at the hospital." Shawn says as he types with one hand on his phone, while his other hand is clamped with mine.

I shrugs my shoulders in response as I look at the bodyguards who are sitting in front of us, back to the window as I watch the Dutch countryside that we are speeding through.