Roses Diary [S.M]

Stand by me

It is around 4 in the morning and I am staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. I wish I could say that the reason why I cannot sleep is because I am too hot because Shawn his arm is laying over my body, holding me close to his body while fast asleep but unfortunately, that is not the case. Ever since a half a hour, I am fully awake. The nausea feeling woke me up.

I have been trying to do some breathing exercises, hoping it would have helped but unfortunately, it didn't. It even got worse.

I knew there was something wrong with that fish I ate at the restaurant. The smell was too funky to be okay. I should have listened to my own feelings and send it back but I didn't wanted to let Shawn down. He had put so much effort into the date, it would have been a bummer if I told him that the food wasn't right.

The movement besides me, pulls me out of my thoughts as Shawn pulls me closer into him and nuzzles his face into my neck. In theory a very sweet gesture and normally, I wouldn't have mind but right now, it makes me feel extremely claustrophobic, which makes, in combination with the nauseous feeling, me feel like I am suffocating. So, I try to unwrap myself out of his headlock.

"What's wrong?." He mumbles as he tries to pull me closer again.

"Nothing. I am too..."- Answering his question but as soon as the smell of his morning breath hits my nose, I feel the moisture building up in my mouth.

I jump out of bed and run with my hand for my mouth to the toilet. "Baby?." Shawn says as I collapse in front of the toilet, throwing up anything I have in my system.

This time the pain is so intense, so  I press my head to the rim of the toilet and close my eyes, hoping it will somehow help. "Rose?." I hear Shawn's voice somewhere far but unable to answer him.

The urge is still there to throw up, even though there is nothing left in my system.The only thing that is coming out of me is bile and that hurts like a mother fucker. My throat feels like a razor blade.

I reach up to flush the toilet. "Jesus Christ..." Shawn mumbles from behind me. I turn around as I rest with my back against the toilet as he crouch down and cup my face, stare into my eyes. I can barely focus on him as I feel extremely weak and dizzy. A side affect from throwing up. Probably some dehydration.

"Are you okay? What is going on?." He says as he wipes the hairs out of my face and cup my cheeks.

His hands leave my face. I am wondering where he went but then I hear the sound of running water. A few moments later, a wet washcloth is wiped over my face.

The pain in my abdomen is almost unbearable, so I press my hands against my stomach, trying to somehow reduce the pain. I take short deep breaths as I open my eyes and see Shawn's concerned eyes gazing at me.

"Water." My voice comes out sounding hoarse because my mouth is all dry and my throat hurts like hell. He stands up immediately. My head begins to spin again because of the sudden movement so, I press my eyes shut and hold on the cabinet next to the toilet.

"Baby?." I open my eyes slightly and see the glass that he is holding out for me. The cold water feels like heaven to my throat as I take small sips, not wanting to throw immediately throw up again.

I hand him back the glass once I done, he throws the remaining water down in the sink.

"Do I need to call a doctor?." Bit by bit, my sight becomes clear again. Shawn looks at me with total panic in his eyes.

I shake my head no. A growl immediately leaves my lips as the movement causes my head to spin again.

"Come on." He place his hands beneath my armpits as he slowly lift me up from the floor.