My Superstar 0.1 [#Wattys2020Winner]

E P I L O G U E

Our story is not the most beautiful story but I learned a lot of things and maybe that's the most amazing experience I learned from this. We hurt each other a lot of times but we decided to move forward. I started as a fan and who would have thought that he will be a big part of my life.

"KIM NAMJOON!"
"KIM SEOKJIN!"
"MIN YOONGI!"
"JUNG HOSEOK!"
"PARK JIMIN!"
"KIM TAEHYUNG!"
"JEON JUNGKOOK!"
"BTS!!!!" 

I smiled widely and wipe away my tears. I looked around the stadium and looked at the stars in the night sky. Attending their concert was one of the most amazing experienced I feel when I met them. They have an amazing audience. Magaalas otso na ng gabi ng tiningnan ko ang relo ko, it was already their encore stage. A moment with their fans, a moment with ARMYS. Isa isa na silang nagsalita at nagpasalamat sa fans nila. The moment he appeared on the big screen, I stood up. Lalabas na ako para hindi na ako mahirapan lumabas mamaya pagkatapos ng concert. Malapit na ako sa exit ng napatigil ako sa paglalakad ng marinig ko ang sinabi niya.

"A few days ago, during our interview, someone asked me if when I will be getting married and probably this will be my last concert being single". Napasinghap ang mga nanonood ng narinig nila ang sinabi niya. Hindi ko maihakbang ang mga paa ko, parang napako ako sa kinakatayuan ko. My vision becomes blurry and watery. I want to go back, I want to look at him but I can't. 

"I was in love with this woman a long time ago, she's the mother of my child. I really want to spend my life with her. I really do. We love each other, we've been through a lot. Our story was like a roller coaster ride but things didn't turn up well. We tried to fix and save what we have but I guess if it's not really meant to be it will never be". His voice becomes shaky. I felt like millions of knives stabbed my heart repeatedly. 

"During the darkest hours of my life, there's one woman who never gets tired loving me. She constantly reminds me every day that life is precious to be taken for granted. We broke up because I thought I still love the mother of my child but I learned that past needs to be in the past no matter what. I learned that if a certain thing was already broken or damaged, you can't fix it no matter how much you want it to be perfectly okay, again. Guys, I'm marrying Carmi a few days from now. I hope you will still support me. I hope you will accept her the way you accepted me in your life. ARMYS will always be the most valuable gift I received from God but yesterday, God blessed me again with another gift and I am very happy right now. I'm going to be a dad again soon". 

As soon as I heard everything. I moved my feet away from this place. Honestly, I can't feel pain anymore, I felt numb. I felt like there's anesthesia injected in my system. I don't know if too much pain can someone feel numb or I am just really expecting this. 

We tried fixing everything.

There are a lot of things that happened months ago, I thought having a brand new start will be enough reason for us to continue what we had in the past but our past still haunting us. It still follows us. We decided to continue our friendship. Maybe, this will works. Maybe, in this way, we will learn the significance of boundaries and limitations. Maybe, this is one of the thousands of signs that God was trying to make me see since day one. Maybe, I'm also aware of all the signs it's just that I'm being blinded by love. From the start, I should know. I should know that reaching for a star in the night sky is like searching my tears in the ocean. 

Unconsciously, I crossed the street without noticing the car approaching until I heard the crunching sound of the engine. 

"Pabo!!!" sigaw ng driver sakin. I slowly closed my eyes.