Mine 'To Protect & To Serve'✔️

Lies...All Lies

Xian's POV

Over the years, Jun has tried his best to push me away, and I did believe for a while, that Jun had indeed come to dislike me. But now I know better. Now I know that, even though he doesn't dot on me like he did when I was a child, he still cares about me.

What really angers me though, is that he continues to treat me like a child.

I am not a child.

He continues to behave, sometimes like my father and sometimes like my brother.

He is neither my father nor my brother.

We are not blood related. So why can't he be Mine?

The day Jun had told me that he was an Archangel, I had decided that I would ask and learn more about them. But everytime I had tried to know more about them, Jun had closed that topic.

"You are not old enough to know matters of heaven." He had said. And for years, I had listened. I had been a good boy.

But as time had passed, my feelings of possessiveness had changed into something else... Something more.

As my feelings had started intensifying, I had started feeling scared of what and how Jun would react if he ever came to know my heart. But that didn't make me stop feeling the way I did for him. Because as immoral as it sounded, I still believed that what I felt for him was right.

What actually hurt the most, was that he didn't feel the same way about me. He didn't want me, the way I wanted him.

One day about two years ago, he had finally yielded and told me everything about Archangels. He had told me how I was his sister's son. How Heavenly Father had wanted to kill me. How he, the most beloved and strongest of all angels, had fallen. And how, he had done it all because of a promise he had made.

That day, I had felt immense pain in my heart. For he made it sound like how Jun treated me, was nothing but him keeping his promise to his precious person, his sister...my mom. I remember how much I had felt like throwing away my life that day.

"If I am no more, will you be able to return to heaven?" I had asked him at that time. If it was a sense of responsibility that kept him tied to me, then it was my responsibility to set him free... To let him go.

A look of pure rage had crossed his usually expressionless face, and he had growled, "Never say such words again. There will never be a day when I exist and you don't." then he had taken my hand between his and closed his eyes. His anger dissipating, he had said softly, "Xian, I can never return to heaven. I am tainted...impure."

I hadn't asked anything else. The word tainted had stuck with me though. But I was too scared to ask him, what it was, that had tainted him.

Our conversation had made a few things clear though. Now I knew, that I was just his responsibility, his duty, his vow. And I knew that if I was to hurt myself, the sacrifices made by him would be for nothing.

So I do, what I am expected to do. I study, I play and I party, like a normal teen. And I think, I have so far been successful in keeping Jun happy. I have so far been successful in fooling Jun in thinking that I am happy with how things are.

Lies... All lies.

The truth is that I die a little everyday looking at the whores that Jun entertains every night.

Why Jun?

Jun is not the one to talk, or share his feelings... Do Archangels have feelings?

Are you capable of falling in love, Jun?

We have a routine. Jun wakes me up, he cooks for me, we eat breakfast together, he packs my lunch and stuffs it in my bag 'Like I am still five', then he walks me to my bus stop and waves me goodbye.

Once I return, he asks me about my day, and asks if he should expect my friends over. When I shake my head, he looks at me disappointedly and asks me to socialize more. Then he serves me snacks and asks if I need help with my homework.

Mundane... Routine... Boring.

Call me stubborn, but even after knowing the truth that Jun can never be mine, I still try to steal what I can. The more he pushes me away, the more I find ways to get him to stay close. I ask for his help in studies, I engage him in political and social debates and when he tries to wiggle his way out of such situations, I use my unbeatable excuse. I tell him that I have had a nightmare and I ask him to sleep with me.

He never refuses.

I feel bad that I am lying to him about it...but that is the only way for me to be close to him.

Selfish, am I not?

Yes, I am selfish. I can't bare to see him with those women. And when he leaves them for me...even if it's only temporary... even if it's only for that night...I feel like I can breath a little bit better... I feel a little hopeful.

"Can you sleep with me?" I ask him, my voice full of hesitation... It's fake. He believes my lies.

He smiles fondly at me, "Go to you room. I will be there in a few." He says, closing the door.

I don't go to my room, I crouch down and peek through the key hole. I watch as he walks towards his bed and says expressionlessly, "We are done for the night."

I hear sheets rustling and I watch Jun walk into the washroom. I watch as women get off the bed, and wear the scraps that they call dresses. Each woman, more beautiful than the next.

Fake.

I continue to watch till Jun exits the bath with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair dripping wet and covering half of his forehead. Water droplets making their way down his jade like perfect body.

Perfect... Irresistible... Mine.

My body reacts to the sight before me, and a don't dare to look anymore. I leave, and run to take a cold shower. I can't let Jun know how I feel.

When the cold water has successfully calmed down my heart and my body, I walk out and find Jun waiting for me, on my bed.

Black satin pyjamas. I notice, and my heart skips a few beats. Jun's brows knit together and he walks over to me.

He places a hand over my forehead, "Do you have a fever?" he asks, he voice seeping with concern.

I shake my head and he cups my face, "Are you sure?"

I nod.

A slight upturn of lips slows his relief and the next moment, his touch is gone.

My heart breaks a little... He can't hear it.

He goes to the bed and pats the space next to him reluctantly. He hesitates, "Come, you look tired. Sleep." He says, with a soft smile...it's not something new. It's what he always says when he is concerned about my health, yet everytime he says it, my heart can't help but feel hopefull.

Reluctant... Hesitant... Mine.

{Note :- That's it for today's update.
Please let me know how you guys are liking it so far.

I have updated The Lonely Bridge and The Accidental Pet yesterday, in case you missed the notification.

Please Vote to show your support for this update if you have enjoyed it.

Thank you for reading.
Have a nice day.}