my mom has adam now, he can't see us like this. he's going to be with mom for another night and he's coming back to us - i'm going to have to try for him. we told everyone yesterday and they were all heartbroken, jack came to the hospital and cried with me. hero hasn't spoken since yesterday. i don't think he's going to get through this easily. i need to help him, he must feel numb after losing his brother and then now his daughter. i cant believe it was a girl. we would have had a boy and a girl, a perfect family.
"what are we going to call her?" hero asks, this is the first time he's spoken since yesterday.
"sophia?" i suggest, i like that name.
"i like that" he mumbles
"sophia it is then" he says to me.
sophia. it's such a beautiful name, we never got to see what her eyes look like. when i held her lifeless body in my arms, she was cold. hero started crying when he held her, he said she looked like me when i slept. i just wanted her to start crying and it would all be okay but no.
we just sit in silence, staring at the four walls. i wonder what life would be like with a girl. i slowly begin to fall asleep.
-
hero's pov;
josephine is asleep - leaving me staring at nothing on my own. i don't know what we did to deserve this, jo blames herself for it but i don't blame her. i think it was all part of gods plan. i don't like it thought, i want my baby girl back. i sob into my hands and then i get an idea.
i'm going to get sophia's name tattooed, i don't have any tattoos so this will be my first. i grab my car keys and leave the house.
i'm in the tattoo parlour now, i'm so nervous. my old friend darren owns this shop so i know the man doing my tattoo and his work is so good.
"you alright bud?" he asks me; he still has a strong british accent
"yep" i say, shaking his hand.
we spend a few minutes catching up on everything and then i decide that i'm going to get three tattoos. i'm getting them on my chest, the date that josephine and i got together, adams birthday and sophias birthday.. or death day. i don't know what to call it. i also get a "j" tattooed on my ring finger for my beautiful fiancée.
three hours later, they're all done. it looks so cool. and i love it. i leave the shop and unlock my car, when i'm in the car - i check my phone and i have three missed calls from jo. i start the car up and ring her from my car speaker thing.
"hi" she says to me, you can tell she's tired and has just woken up.
"where are you?"
"i'm uh i have a surprise for you" i say to her
"i'm on my way home now, i'll be half an hour - i'm going to get adam as well." tell josephine.
i get adam from elizabeth's , she didn't say much to me she just gave me a hug and said that she'll come and see jo soon. i put adam in his car seat thing in the front seat because he missed me.
"how was your day" i ask my son whilst driving towards mcdonald's
"goooood" adam says to me, stretching his words which makes me smile.
i got adam a happy meal and a mcflurry, josephine a mcflurry and a big mac meal with a sprite and then i got myself a myself a hamburger meal with a coke.
-
we're home now and jo is so happy to see adam, they're eating together and i'm sitting on the sofa eating - i'm still sad. i know josephine is but she's putting up a face for adam, i don't know if i can do that.
once i finished my food, jo and adam are still eating and i take my shirt off so jo can see my new tattoos, i go into the kitchen and her eyes widen.
"come here" she says to me, her hands are on my waist. she looks up at me and smiles at me.
i show her my hand and she begins to cry, she stands up out of her chair and kisses me on the cheek.
"i love it" she tells me
i smile at her words, we don't deserve this pain - we have both been through so much and now we've had our beautiful daughter taken from us. i don't know how we're going to tell adam that the baby he has been so excited for isn't there anymore and isn't here with us either. he's bound so ask one day, jo' bump has shrunk and it stabs me in my heart because we don't have sophia.
