hero is fucking hammering at the wall at fuck knows what time and he's woken me up, i know he's doing up the girls room but it's saturday let me have a lie in. i can hear adam in the girls room and i can still fucking hear hero hammering at the wall.
"oh for fucks" i mumble to myself and drag myself out of bed, i want to go back to sleep but i'm not going back to sleep with hero hammering the wall like that. i pick up my phone and it's 11:30, my eyes widen a little at the time because i don't usually sleep in this late. i hope hero's given adam breakfast and i hope he's eaten himself.
i go into the bathroom and brush my hair then pull it up into a bun. i brush my teeth, wash my face and the rest. i'm not going to even bother changing my clothes because i'm not going anywhere - i have black shorts on and a light blue tank top but it's a maternity one so it's not tight on me.
i go up into the twins room which is currently being done up, the walls were done the other day - it's a baby pink and then hero has built both cots and put them next to each other but in between them both there is a cabinet/drawer thing and in the drawers there's the twins clothes and shoes that we've brought so far and then in the open cabinet things there's nappies, baby powder, baby body wash, sudocrem, thermometer and the rest. their room is huge to be honest. on the other side there is a white chair thing with a foot rest, hero is putting the curtains up.
"morning mommy" adam says to me and hugs me, i smile at him.
hero gets off the ladder and the curtains are up, they're white. the room looks so nice.
"hello" hero says giving me a hug and then kisses my lips.
"yuck stop" adam says covering his eyes
i chuckle at him.
"cmon let's go downstairs" my son says to me and hero. he has us both by one hand each.
hero's making lunch for adam because adam said he's hungry. adam is focused on the tv and i go to the kitchen where my fiancé is. he's making adam a chicken wrap with fries, i open the door to the fridge and take out a the carton of apple juice - i grab a glass and pour the juice in there. i sit down at the island and watch hero, it's kinda hot watching him cook. hero gives adam his food and then sits next to me.
"shall i make you something to eat?" he asks me
"i'm not hungry" i tell him, i am hungry but i feel so fucking fat. i know i need to eat but i cant eat now. i cant.
"you need to eat" he says to me, his eyes are soft.
"i'm not hungry" i tell him again.
"can you eat something?" he asks me again, i'm getting irritated now because i don't want to eat.
"you're starving yourself again and you're going to get sick" he tells me, i sigh at his choice of words. starving myself. yes that is exactly what i'm doing - i have an eating disorder hero. i don't want to say it to him because he's well aware and he's just going to get pissed off with me.
"it's going to kill our daughters if you don't eat" he mumbles and walks out the kitchen
"what?"
i give him a dirty look and my eyes sting.
"i have a fucking eating disorder" i remind him
he comes back into the kitchen.
"i know you do but you're carrying MY DAUGHTERS and you're fucking starving yourself"
i don't know what to say, i just cry. adam keeps looking back at me, i don't want to hear us argue.
"i'm not fucking arguing with you in front of adam" i tell hero and go upstairs.
-
i haven't eaten.. all day. adam came up to check if i was okay, he said hero is taking him out. i sit in our bed and i contemplate whether i should go back to sleep. i need to eat, i don't want to kill our daughters. i'm scared to eat, hero has upset me and if i eat i know i'm gonna end up making myself sick. i just go to sleep.
i hear the door opening and close, hero and adam are back. i hear adam running up the stairs and he pushes the door open to my room.
"look what daddy got me" adam says and puts the huge box on the bed, it's a lego set. i smile at adam because i know that he wanted the huge box of lego, it's just random pieces. - hero was supposed to get him this for christmas but i guess not. i've ordered a few christmas presents but i'm going tomorrow to get them, i'm probably going alone because hero is being a dick. adam is going to be occupied with the lego set for a few days, i'm glad he's happy.
my stomach rumbles again and i roll my eyes, i think i need to go downstairs and get some food. before i can get out of bed, i see hero's shadow in the hallway and he pushes the door open. he comes in and he has a chick-fil-a bag in his hand and he puts it down on the bed next to me.
"i got you some food" he says to me in a low voice.
fuck he looks so hot, i can't he mad at him.
"i'm sorry" he mumbles
"it's okay i understand why you got so pissed off" i reply to him.
he leans over to kiss me, and the kiss is deep. hero moves his hand down to my shorts and pushes the fabric of my underwear. i moan into his mouth and i kiss his neck and when i pull away from his neck a red mark is there. hero takes his hand from my shorts, he goes to the bathroom in our room to wash his hands and then i smirk at him.
he pulls his shoes off and sits next to me, he brought me a grilled chicken club sandwich, large waffle fries and lemonade.
"has adam eaten?" i ask
"he's eating now and watching a video on his ipad"
hero got a spicy chicken sandwich with waffle fries and a coke. he also brought us chicken strips and chicken nuggets to share.
when i eat my stomach automatically stops hurting and i don't feel faint.
"do you want to watch 50 shades?" hero asks me, hero loves that movie and he's made me watch it so many times.
"yeah" i roll my eyes playfully, he knows how many time's we've watched it together.
"oh and thank you for doing the girls room" i tell him
"it looks amazing i add"
"thank you" he replies.
i don't want hero to leave me.
