it's been 3 months, belle and camila are 5 months old now. jo has a kind of relationship with her dad but i haven't met him yet and neither has the kids, i want to meet him before she takes our kids there.
today i am proposing to josephine, i didn't want to propose in a restaurant or anything so josephines mom is watching the kids at our house. i was planning to do it in the garden with the kids there but i'm gonna do dinner in the garden next week and stuff so it won't be as special.
josephine has gone to see jack and liam, i told her that we're going out and we're not going anywhere fancy - since it's may, it's getting kinda hot so she's probably just going to wear some shorts and tank top or something.
josephine's mom is helping me make the sandwiches, i wanted the picnic to be cool so i put capri-suns in there, chips, chocolate covered strawberries, her favourite candies and i put crackers and cheese in the picnic basket because i know she loves them.
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jo is home now, she's wearing black shorts have rips in them and a white tank top - she looks cute.
she's sitting with isabelle, camila is playing with adam which is cute. elizabeth is watching something on the tv, i don't even know.
i put the picnic basket in the car before jo got home.
"cmon" i say to jo, she gets up and isabelle looks like she's about to cry.
"go to nanny" she tells our daughter.
jo kisses isabelle on her head and then walks toward the front door where i'm standing.
"bye adam and cam" i shout and close the door.
jo is standing by the car, she looks perfect. i unlock the car door and she gets in the passenger seat.
"you look perfect" i tell her and kiss her on her lips.
she tastes like mint.
"where are we going?" she asks me as i drive.
"you'll know in a second"
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we're in sitting at the top of the hill that we used to when we were younger, this is where i proposed last time but i don't know - i don't know if she's going to say yes to me.
"thank you" she says to me, her head is in my lap - she looks at the dark sky.
"for what?"
"for all of this" she tells me, i lean down and kiss her forehead.
i like this, we don't have our phones with us - they're in the car, it's just us. we talk about the stupidest shit and i think that's what i love about us, we never run out of things to say.
"i fall in love with you more and more everyday" i tell her. she sits up and cups my face in her hands, she brings her face close to mine.
"forever" she mumbles and kisses my lips. i pull her onto my lap and move my hands down to her lower back.
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we're just about to leave, we put all of the stuff in the car and i haven't done it yet.
"baby"
jo comes to where i'm standing, im nervous.
the only woman who can make me feel like this is josephine eliza langford, the love of my life.
"i can't believe i'm doing this again. i don't know where to start. i want to say thank you for bringing me so much joy and happiness in my life. you are my life josephine. you are my heart and my soul. when i am not with you, i am not me. i love every single thing about you, even the things you hate about yourself. you are perfect, you make my legs feel like jelly when you kiss me. i still get nervous all these years later. i've been here before and so many things got in the way of us getting married and i fucked up very badly. i'm sorry. i want you forever."
i get down on one knee and open the black box in my hand.
"will you do the honours of marrying me?" i ask jo, she's crying now.
she nods at me and i put the ring on her finger, i put my arms around her and i have a little cry - i don't know why but i thought she was going to say no to me, i was scared.
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we're at home and in bed now, elizabeth left an hour ago. she had dinner with the kids and put them to bed for us which we really appreciate, i'm glad we have her.
i'm cuddling josephine because she said she needs to be cuddled. i think she's coming on her period and before she comes on, she wants be cuddled all the time and then two weeks after she's moody.
her head is on my chest and our legs are tangled, my hands rest on her lower back.
"i love you" i remind her
"i love you too" she says looking up and kissing me.
i want the rest of my life with her.
