hero's mom and dad are babysitting the twins and adam. hero and i are going on our first proper date since we "broke up". i'm slowly becoming more comfortable around him again and i've realised why i love him.
i'm wearing a black shirt thing and it has little flowers on it - it's slit down in the breast area and it's not what i'd usually wear but it's cute. and then i'm wearing black trouser type things, i'm wearing black heels too. i haven't worn heels in ages.
i'm currently in the bathroom, straightening my hair because since i'm going out of my comfort zone i might as well go full out.
we're going to some fancy restaurant but that's all i know, hero has planned the rest. i put the straighteners down on the side and look at myself in the mirror. i notice that there's some flyaways so i pick the straightener back up and put them down. once i've finished straightening my hair, i do my make up - it's light make up, just some lipstick, mascara and concealer.
i look at myself in the mirror and for the first time, in my life.
i feel beautiful.
i am trying not to cry because i have never felt this confident about my body. i feel sexy, fuck. i smile at myself in the mirror and i see hero in the reflection of the mirro. he comes into the bathroom and places his hand on my waist.
"wow" is all he manages to say.
"is that a good thing or a bad thing?" i ask him curiously.
"a good thing"
i smirk at him and apply another layer of lipstick.
"i would fuck you but we got places to be so cmon let's go before i rip those clothes off you" he says to me, i roll my eyes at him playfully.
i feel like before. i feel happy. when i'm with hero, it's like no one else in the world exists, it's just us.
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we're in the restaurant, it's a chinese restaurant and it's really fancy. hero and i are in a corner, i look around and the people here look very rich and fancy.
hero is wearing a black and white suit, it's so simple but he looks so fucking good.
"what are you getting?" he asks me
"stir fry noodles" i say
"can we get spring rolls?" i ask him
he nods at me and then smiles, it's his evil smile and i know he thinks that he's going to have sex with me but i told him he needs to wait until i'm ready again. i'm scared of him seeing my body.
"i'm getting squid and uh spring rolls as well" he says to me
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our food is here, it looks so good.
we eat in silence but then we start talking about how we feel like we're getting old, i mean we have three kids. we're both 26. four years until we're thirty.
i tell him how i still want one more baby, and i still want to adopt a dog, maybe two. i don't think hero thinks that we have enough space in the house for two dogs and another baby but we'll have to see.
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we're in the car now and we're at the mcdonald's drive thru for ice cream, classy. i know.
"can i have two cones" hero says to the woman.
he drives forward and then taps his card on the machine, i wanted to pay for it even thought it wasn't much because he paid for our food.
we got our cones and now we're driving home, i have hero's cone in my hand and i'm feeding it him.
i put the ice cream cone to his mouth and he licks some of the ice cream - he gets some on his nose.
"you got some on your nose" i say giggling.
i pick some tissue up from the side and wipe his nose. it's funny feeding him the ice cream, i know he can eat it himself whilst he's driving but he thinks i don't know that.
"i love you" i say to him.
he looks over at me, i cant read his facial expression.
i look forward at the road, we're nearly home.
"i love you too" he says to me, kissing my cheek. he has ice cream on his lip and he gets it on my cheek.
"eww" i say to him, wiping it off my face.
i wonder if the kids have gone to sleep, it's late so they should be asleep i guess. i'm so thankful for hero's parents looking after them - we really needed this.
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we're home and i'm wearing hero's t-shirt for the first time in a while, hero is wearing grey nike shorts.
we're looking through pictures of the girls and adam, the girls have grown up so quickly. and it only seems like yesterday that i had adam.
we put our phones to the side and i look up at the man who i am still in love with after so many years.
"you are so beautiful" he says to me before kissing me.
i cant do this anymore.
i want him.
i forget about all the pain and hurt he has caused me.
