Reverse Dipcifica Oneshots

not for us, monsieur

"You're kidding me." Pacifica groaned as soon as she entered the motel room. It was supposed to be an easy job, a job that she and Mabel said that they would handle together. After all, it was mainly Gideon's idea. He wanted the two of them to start getting along better if they were going to be working together on insane jobs where their lives might be in danger.

Pacifica was still on the fence about working with Mabel, but beggars couldn't be choosers, as the saying went. However, when she got into the motel, she couldn't help but let out the world's largest and loudest groan.

Dipper Gleeful was laying on the motel bed, reading a book which the title snagged Pacifica's attention, but she was far too frustrated to actually have a conversation about it with him, he was completely uninterested in the fact that she had entered the room. "Hmm?"

"Um, I was supposed to be working with Mabel not you." She clarified, wavering on the heels of her feet, whipping her phone out of her pocket to call Mabel and ask what the whole deal was.

"Oh? Is that so?" Dipper murmured lightly, turning a page of his book, still not even sparing her a glance. "Oh, calling her would not be in your best interest."

Pacifica never understood how he seemed to know what she was doing without even looking at her. It had to have something to do with the current situation. No way did that boy have actual magical abilities. "And why's that?"

Dipper heaved a sigh and continued to not even look at her as he focused on his book, flicking another page as he read. How could he focus on her as well as the book? Pacifica would never be able to understand that as well. "Well, Occam's razor; if she didn't show up to your little stakeout, she, most likely, has other more pressing obligations than you."

"It's not about me!" Pacifica exclaimed, stomping her foot in irritation. "It's about the creatures that are terrorizing Reverse Falls! And if we wanna keep things under wraps and not break the rules, then we have to put aside things that are now trivial on such a scale. Like, I already called in sick for the next three days for my shifts at Greasy's."

"Gleefuls have other obligations. Which the likes of you would never be able to comprehend." Dipper replied evenly, as if he were taking Mabel's battle for her. "Although, I assumed that you already knew that when you started spending time with us."

"You mean started working with you." Pacifica snorted and tossed her duffle bag onto a nearby chair —the only chair in the room, actually. "Are you seriously that paranoid that you won't even talk about our job?"

"I do believe that discretion is policy in this sort of situation." Dipper sighed, finally giving up on reading, and placed the book down on the table to his left. "Regardless of that situation, Mabel sent me in her stead with the highest of recommendations."

"Shut it!" Pacifica hissed, dropping her head into her hands for a brief minute. Bringing it back up, she felt a little more composed than she had when she started talking to the egotistical maniac. "I don't really care as long as the both of us can do our jobs without getting distracted."

Dipper rolled over, propping himself up onto his elbows, staring at her in a wicked manner. "Oh? Do you think I will be distracting?"

Pacifica couldn't resist the urge to roll her eyes. "No. Of course not. I can keep things professional, I just don't want you to flirt with every receptionist you see or flirt with a girl who ends up being a siren so I have to save your sorry ass again."

"Well, I will have you know that I can be very distracting." Then the realization seemed to strike him across the face. "Excuse me, what did you just say?"

Pacifica placed her phone back into her pocket and crossed her arms. "You heard me."

"Alright then, for starters, the receptionist is a married woman —I have class, Pacifica, it's not my fault that she came onto me—, and secondly, the whole siren incident that fed your ego in the worst ways possible, I already explained that I knew what she was and I was trying to get her to lead me to her hideout so we could take care of it."