Hide and Spy- Gallagher Girls FanFic

Holding the Baby- Part 3

Part 3

 

Amy was in bed asleep, the marking was done, and the dinner plates had been washed up. I sighed and leant back on the sofa, where had the day gone? I had done everything I had wanted to, but it was already eight o'clock.

I decided to scrap that idea and took the baby monitor down to the basement. I hadn’t done any exercise today and Amy would probably sleep for a few hours. As I flicked on the light, my mobile rang. There wouldn’t be much signal down there, so I darted back upstairs before answering, “Hello?”

“It’s me,” Rachel answered. I smiled and leant back on the sofa, “How are you doing?”

She laughed softly, “Well, I finally got back to my room,” She sighed and explained, “They wanted to steal my phone so I wouldn’t ring, but I wanted to just check tht you were fine,”

I chuckled and rolled my eyes to myself, "We are fine. Amy is asleep, and I was just going to go downstairs,"

Rachel sighed longingly, "While I've had a lovely day, I would much rather be home tonight."

I 'mmed' my agreement, "You'll be home this time tomorrow,"

"Yeah," Rachel murmured, "Well, I'm going to try and get some sleep,"

I smiled, "At least you know you wont have to get up for the night feed!"

Rachel laughed a little, "That's true. Night love,"

"Good night," I replied softly, "Sleep well, darling."

 

We both hung up and I sat for another minute, again finding myself gazing at the photo of the three of us by the TV. I was beyond lucky to have the two of them.

"Luck," I scoffed to myself, for a long time I had believed life was what you made it and nothing to do with luck. But when a bullet misses you by half an inch, or you disarm a bomb with ten seconds to spare because you guessed which wire needed cutting, then you can't doubt how much of a part Lady Luck plays in everyone's life.

Could I really see this as luck though? I had fallen in love with my best friends widow. Yes I had, on occasion, longed for what Matthew had. I had never wanted him to die though, he didn't deserve that.

There was no denying that a small part of me had always loved Rachel, part of me that had yelled that I should always be close to her. I naturally denied it to myself, insistent that it was simply wrong for me to fall for her. But maybe that was why Matt had died, why she had asked me to teach Cammie. That wasn't luck though. It was more akin to fait. Yeah, I nodded to myself, Fait, I can accept.

I stood up and quietly headed up the stairs to Amy's room. I stood in the doorway and watched my daughter swaddled in her blanket and bathed in the yellow glow of the lamp. A few days ago Rachel had assured me that I was a natural at fatherhood, perhaps it had always meant to be. Was getting Amy and Rachel now, my reward for all the hardships my younger self went through?

Amy stuttered and began to wail suddenly, I smiled to myself and shook my head. No, you're still paying the price, Joe. I lifted her in to my arms and rocked her a little, her little green eyes opened wide and gazed up at me, But what a price to pay.

*

I woke up the next morning on the purple beanbag under the window in Amy's room. I winced as I shifted a little and something lumpy but smooth dug in to my back. It was most likely the bottle Amy had finished just before one o'clock this morning. I pulled it out and stood up to set it on the chest of the drawers while I saw to myself.