Dolan twins little sister

· Strong Feelings ·

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Alyssa's POV

***

I wake up to the sound of birds chirping loudly. 

My eyes open slowly and I groan softly when they're met with strong sun rays entering through the bedroom windows. I hate the sun. I like the rain a lot more. 

Memories of yesterday flood my mind and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to kick them out. The thoughts won't leave. 

I wonder what Ethan and Kristina are doing today. I wonder how Ethan feels about yesterday. Did he regret it or did he feel good? Was what he said true or hurtful? Does he even feel bad about what he did? Does he miss me?

I roll over to grab my phone and notice the left side of the bed wrinkled up. Grayson must be up already.

My phone reads ten am and I feel my eyes widen. How is it already ten?

I slide my finger up and check my messages. I have a few from Noah, but none from Ethan. To be honest, I don't know why I thought there would be one. Ethan never apologizes first because he's so damn stubborn. He says the same about me. 

I sit up and yawn, taking a moment to stretch and crack my back. Emma's guest room is pretty. I wish I could live here and never see Ethan again, but I know I'll have to face the storm sooner or later, whether I want to or not. 

I shower and change (Gray brought me clothes yesterday).

As the hot water trails down my back and chest, I can't help but feel hurt at the fact that Ethan hasn't sent a message. 

***

Once I'm dry, I walk out to the living room and sigh when I see Emma and Gray drinking coffee and eating toast. I don't feel like talking about yesterday, but I know Grayson will want to ask me a few questions. 

"Morning," I smile, sitting next to Grayson on the kitchen table bench. 

"Morning," Emma smiles. 

"Morning, hon," Gray says, putting an arm around my shoulders. "Did you sleep well?"

I nod. "Yeah. Thanks for letting us stay, Emma"

"Of course," Emma smiles. "You two are still family whether Ethan and I are together or not"

Emma gets me some toast and coffee and while she's making it, Grayson stops chewing to speak to me. 

"We need to talk," he sighs. "With Ethan. We'll drive back home today and-"

"No," I reply. 

"No?" Gray says, sounding confused. "Aly, we can't stay here forever. We need to talk to Ethan and figure the issue out"

"I don't wanna see him," I sigh, looking down at my hands. "What if he tries to hurt me again, Grayson? He looked just like dad. I don't wanna go back home"

"Sweetie, look at me," Gray says softly, cupping my face in his hand. "Ethan's not going to do anything stupid while I'm there. I promise to keep you safe, okay?"

I nod, but can't help feeling like that promise will fall through. 

***

After breakfast, Grayson and I get in the car to go back home. Gray puts some music on to relax me, but the sound of instruments makes me want to jump out the window at any given second as we get closer to the house. 

***

Grayson parks in the driveway. I take a deep breath and unbuckle my seatbelt, following Grayson's lead as he gets out of the car. 

Gray opens the front door and holds it open for me. When I don't move, he gently presses his hand into my back, pushing me inside. 

The house is weirdly silent as I follow Grayson to the living room. 

"I think they're out," Gray says, dumping his bag on the couch. 

"Yeah," I reply. "Come to think of it, I didn't see Ethan's Tesla parked outside"

Grayson suddenly frowns and picks a piece of paper up off the coffee table. It looks like someone ripped it out of a notebook in a hurry. 

As Grayson skims over the messy letters scrawled on the lines of the page, his eyes widen. 

"What does it say?" I ask, going on my tiptoes to look over Gray's shoulder. 

"Ethan and Kristina are staying at a hotel until Christmas. Here he says we'll see each other at grandma's in Jersey"

"He's not coming back?"

"Kristina said he felt really bad," Gray sighs. "I guess he thought this was what was best for us"

***

It's evening now. 

Grayson makes dinner and we decided to watch a movie while we eat. 

I can't focus on the movie even though it's one of my favourite Christmas movies, The Grinch. Thoughts of me being the reason Ethan and Kristina left is eating me up with guilt inside. This is Ethan's home too. I should be the one out of here. 

I glance over at Grayson. He seems fine as he watches the movie, his eyes glued to the TV screen. 

I slide down the couch and sigh softly as I curl up and shut my eyes. It sounds stupid, but I wish I was six years old again. Back when I was six, nothing ever seemed to be wrong. I had grandma, the twins and a perfect life. I didn't understand my parents issues and I thought the world was so great. 

I know six year old me would be disappointed to see what she grew up into. I hate feeling like everyone hates me. Ethan's my older brother and it hurts to know what he thinks of me. His words ring in my ears repeatedly and I dislike not being enough for him. I don't like disappointing the twins, but after this whole event, I know they're both frustrated with me for breaking down our family again. 

They would never admit it, but they probably think that.

***