Dolan twins little sister

Chapter 32

Alyssa's POV- Midnight

I lay in bed and stare at my ceiling, unable to sleep. I can't get Damon off my mind. The look of hatred in his eyes makes my skin crawl as I remember his icy blue irises freezing me out. The flicker of guilt beforehand makes me even more confused. Does he feel guilty about leaving me behind? That being said, Damon is a unique individual. when you get close he pushes you away. I know it because I do it too.  He ices you out and makes you feel like you've done something wrong. If I'm being honest, I miss him. I truly miss him a lot and it hurts me every day. The times he was kind to me is what hurts the most. I know he feels trapped inside his body. I know it because I feel it too. 

I roll onto my side and knot the sheets up in my hands, closing my eyes. I need to try and get some sleep. 

My eyes spring open again and I sigh. This isn't going to work. Every time I close my eyes I see Damon in his leather jacket, his hair a mess and his icy blue eyes never failing to make me stop dead in my tracks. This isn't fair. 

I roll onto my other side and hug a pillow to my chest, the cool fabric feeling nice on my hot bothered skin. It sucks that you can't be with the person you want to be with. I can't tell Carly and Kayleigh because they don't understand. They don't know what it's like to have a throbbing heart day in and day out. It's driving me crazy.  I can't tell the twins either because they've got enough on their plates already. I really want to call Emma and cry and see her, but now that the twins are suspicious it might be impossible. Why can't love be simple?

I slide out of bed and grab my phone. My heart hurts so much that I don't even care about Ethan's feelings anymore. I know it sounds spiteful but to be honest, he's been the exact same. He shut me out so guess what?

Imma do it too.

I walk down the hall and into the bathroom, making sure to shut the door quietly. 

The line rings a couple of times before she answers.

"Emma?" I whisper.

"Hey, Aly"

I sniffle and slide down the bathroom wall, the cold tiles making me gasp softly. I run a hand through my hair, gathering myself so I can talk without absolutely breaking down and ending up a wreck. 

"Alyssa? What's wrong, sweetheart?"

I suddenly realize that I'm calling Emma about boy problems when she's dealing with something a lot bigger. When am I ever going to stop being so pathetic?

"Nothing. I'll see you tomorrow" I sigh, abruptly ending the call.

I place my phone on the floor next to me and lean my head back against the wall. I close my eyes and try to breathe. It feels like my air pipe has been stuffed with cotton balls. 

"Help me" I sob quietly.

Breakfast is unusually quiet. I'm tired as hell because I decided to pull an all-nighter. I'm not gonna go to sleep with a broken heart that's for sure. Grayson seems super focused on my every move while Ethan just sits at the counter on his phone, eating cereal. I know the twins know that I'm not the same. Grayson isn't forcing me to eat and he just gives me a small smile every time I look at him. I look back down at the counter and frown slightly, trying to figure out why Damon is so hard to read. He's nice one second and then another he's off the handle and raging. 

After School

I sit in a booth in the back of the cafe. I set my bag down and order two coffees. It's been about a month of sneaking around and lying to the twins.