The Devilman's Epiphany ✔️

LXXXII- I'm not fighting for her anymore

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"Let go of me, Rex." I said quietly and he didn't protest this time. He actually let go of me. I started walking faster to the exit and took a deep breath.

Why does it feel like I left everything with him when I didn't have anything to begin with?

I sat down in my car and rested my head in my seat. I opened the mirror and grabbed my bag from the back to put some concealer on my bruise. It definitely didn't cover it up. It looked way less sore but you could still clearly see the bruise itself so I just wiped it all off before driving off.

I need a fucking drink.

I wiped my eyes as well after pulling up to the garage and parking the car. I decided to take a long walk before I came to the house and it was afternoon already. I walked in and saw Harvey asleep on the couch. I placed my bag in my room before walking to Elias's room and knocked on the door two times before it opened. "Oh my..." he muttered as he cupped my face and moved it to the side to inspect it.

This bruise was nothing considering the other scars I had and he was still so upset for some reason. "Maybe I should tell Harvey to call off and you can just be apart of the gang." I shook my head aggressively and he frowned at me before grabbing my hand and pulling me into the bathroom.

I sat down on the counter as he bent down to open the cabinets under the sink. "Where the fuck is it?" He got back up and opened another cabinet before getting the first aid kit. He got a cream from inside of it and rubbed it over my cheek. "Here, does this hurt?" He moved my jaw and touched other placed to make sure nothings broken.

I didn't really look up at him and didn't realise that I was biting the inside of my cheek till I tasted the blood from it. "So what happened?" He asked and I didn't bother looking up as he got the ice pack from the kitchen and rested it on my cheek. "Not what I expected. I uh-..."

I fucking kissed him.

I'm sure Elias would be thrilled to that find out.

"I don't think 'you should see the other guy' thing applies in your case." I nodded. I did hurt him without trying.

Mentally.

"You're so stubborn, I hate to admit it but I think we both get that from Harvey. You'll never admit it till you can't ignore it anymore will you?" I narrowed my eyes at Elias and crossed my arm across my chest since the other was holding onto the ice. "You're afraid Harvey will never truly see you as a member if you 'fail'. You don't need anyone's validation, Arabella. You don't need anyone. You have that guy Rosetti and he loves you."

"It seems impossible when you hear someone like Rex to love but he loves you. Neither Harvey or me will ever give you what Rex can and you're throwing it all away." He warned me and I didn't remove my eyes off the ground as I clenched my teeth. "Now go and rest. You have to go after Rosetti again tomorrow... Unless you decide not to." He muttered the last sentence as I walked back to my room.

I jumped down on my bed and laid back. I squeezed my eyes shut and realised that my anxiousness wasn't going anywhere. I didn't realise the tears rolling down my cheeks before getting back up and rushed to the bathroom. I tied my hair up when I realised that my stomach isn't going to turn normal soon.

I actually threw up after years and flossed my mouth before leaning on the cold wall. I slid down and my chest felt so tight. My cold sweat turned into actual sweat and I threw my shirt off to the corner of the bathroom before crossing my arms. My whole body shook as I just leaned there and I don't know how to calm myself.

You lost Rex, he hates you know.

You fucked up Arabella. Harvey will hate you when he sees how weak you are.

I held onto my throat and gently squeezed it to distract myself but it did absolutely nothing to calm the panic. My breath shortened and I laid my hands on the ground before laying on my side and put my knees by my chest.

I don't know how to calm the panic.

My eyes burned as I bent my head down and pursed my lips. Uncontrollable sobs left my mouth and I frowned.

'Before I met you I had no purpose for anything. My life was a puzzle I never bothered to solve. Not that I wanted to anyway. Then you just fucking came crashing in.'

Rex?

'So don't even fucking think of dumbass breakups Arabella. I'm nothing without you. The only cases where I'll ever let you leave is if you ever stop loving me or if you're in danger.'

I calmed down and rubbed my eyes to get rid of my tears before getting up. I walked over to my sink and washed my face, dried it as well before checking my phone. An hour passed? I narrowed my eyes and walked back to my room.

I won't be getting any sleep.

Rex's POV

I'm not fighting for her anymore.

I swore to myself I wouldn't go and get her back because I know I can. "Rex, what do you think?" Kelly came out of my room with her dumbass dress. I nodded before turning my attention back on the wall again. Me and Cameron were just drinking and she basically fucking lives here now.

"That's just a nod. Tell me something, Rex. Compliment me, it's not that hard." I smirked bitterly and laid my head back. "Compliment what? How desperate you are?" I mumbled and sighed as she stormed back into my room. "Go easy on her, man." I raised an eyebrow at Cameron as I chugged my beer. "Go easy? Do you know who you're talking to?" I rolled my eyes and pulled out my phone.

I wasn't looking at anything. I just wanted to look occupied as I fucking thought of Arabella.

She's with that dickhead Elias. Staying with him.

The moment I find out they're together, I'm dropping my shit and killing him immediately.

'Let me have this' my ass. You fucking had me. That's all she's ever wanted. I doubt she'll ever admit it to her fucking stubborn self. She makes me want to fight someone or something.

She drives me fucking crazy.

"You good? Been watching the same screen for ten minutes." Cameron said as he grabbed my phone and dropped it. "Pssst." I rolled my eyes again before looking at Cameron. We did not share similarities at all.

Not in any way.

"Go get your girl man. It's killing you." Nothing's killing me. It's not her and it's not anyone else.

"She tried to dagger me." I said bringing my attention back to the move Cameron had opened when he came. He laughed as he threw his head back and wiped a fake tear. "Why did you punch her in the face?" He asked with amusement in his voice.

I didn't fucking mean to.

"I had to fucking react somehow to not get stabbed. A punch wasn't necessary but it did it's job well." I explained and Cameron shook his head. "You should worry about your fucking lover." I said before snapping my eyes shut again. "I am worried. He's still extremely afraid of you." I exhaled deeply before sliding down so I was completely lying down. "As he fucking should, Cameron. Don't tell him dumb bullshit about me." I warned him and he sighed.

"You should leave. I'm going to kick Kelly out right after." I told him and Cameron dusted his pants after getting up and finishing his beer. "You can't kick her out. She 'has a sprain' remember?" I rolled my eyes and rubbed my face.

I can never get rid of her can I?