Sucks to Suck (Spider-Man/X-Men Females X Male Reader)

Watery Grave

"Hold on a second, what's this retarded plan again?" Wanda asked.

"Alright, listen this time." I groaned.

"No."

"So I got this job working for this idiot to take pictures of myself in the spider suit for a newspaper." I tossed them the latest issue.

"Masked Menace Makes Mall... who the fuck told him to use this many m words? Is that something people look for in newspapers? Who still gets newspapers?" Pietro asked.

"And we all know about how I have that hit on me. Well the plan is that I break into a bank with you guys, I get some pics there. Inevitably one of King Pin's goons is gonna come try to kick my ass. We take care of him, use the money to bribe him to tell us who my other assassins are and then the next week we start breaking legs!"

"And why would we help you with this at all? Like what's our angle?" Wanda asked.

"You make sure I don't die."

"Who says I don't want you to die?"

"Alright, then how about it helps with the Brotherhood thing?"

"How so?"

"There are currently 5 X-Men in New York City and it just so happens the one who's most suspicious of me knows I'm gonna be out tonight. Say she hears about a bank break in and comes over to stop it with one of the others. She gets there and oh look! Scarlet Witch is forcing me to rob a bank to get me arrested! I fake a fight with you guys, you actually beat up the X-Men, I save them, I gain some easy trust points!" I said.

"That is... surprisingly well thought out for you." Wanda said.

"Surprisingly? I'm offended, Wanda."

"Wounded, even?"

"Hurt, Wanda. Now come on, get dressed. Lets get going." I said. I webbed open my floor board and grabbed my suit and walked into the bathroom. As I did Wanda rolled her eyes before snapping her finger and bursting into a red light and replacing the red flannel over a Star Wars shirt and black jeans with her Scarlet Witch costume. Pietro ran out of the room and return in his costume instead of the blueish Grey shirt and jeans he was previously wearing.

Kitty

"Hey K, you weren't going out with Rogue tonight?" Jubilee asked as I got back. She was on the couch playing a game.

"Um, yeah no I uh, I have like, homework to do." I told her. "Is Alison here?"

"I think I woke up before Alison did. She's still in her room, I think she pulled an all nighter."

"Okay, great." I said before walking towards her room.

"Hey did you hear from (Y,N)?"

"Oh he can't come over, he's um, doing something for his job he said."

"Oh, that." Jubilee said in an annoyed tone. "I hope he can find some way to get outta that."

"Wait, you know what his job is? What's he do-"

"SHAO KHAN WINS!" The tv shouted.

"KITTY YOU JUST RUINED MY NO ROUNDS LOST RUN ON MK9! STOP SPEAKING TO ME!" Jubilee yelled at me.

"Alright! Like, don't get a hernia!" I said before walking into Alison's room. She was still in bed with a headphone in one ear. "Hey Allieeeeee?" I asked. Alison groaned and rolled over.

"Whaaaaaat?"

"Wanna help me, like, catch a bad guy?"

. . .