In a reality where Peter Parker died with his parents and another asshole (you) got bit by a radioactive spider instead. Instead Of using your great powers for great responsibility, you use it to take odd jobs and rob other New York criminals while...
Later on in the night I got a knock at my door. I got up to answer it and immediately had shorts thrown into my face. Didn't need the Spider Sense to grab them before they hit my face.
"Nice catch, lame-o." Jubilee said. I got a good look at her and wow.
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"Keep it in your pants, spider boy. Or transfer it into the shorts I just gave you." She said before blowing a bubble of bubble gum. "Allie told me about how you didn't bring any swim trunks."
"And she couldn't be the one to bring them?"
"Wow, I haven't seen you all day and this is how I'm repaid?" Jubilee said being over dramatic. "I'm wounded by your comments! You have struck me like a dagger in the sternum!"
"It's not that I'm not happy to see you, I'm just worried these pants have a hole in them and you're gonna go 'Oh no, those were the last trunks I guess you have to wear this Speedo I conveniently have now!'"
"That would've actually been a great idea, you should give me like five minutes to come back."
"Not a chance." I said closing the door on her.
"HEY! WHAT GIVES, NO SHOW!? YOU OWE ME!"
"That was a bet that you lost!"
"I THREW AND YOU KNOW IT!"
"I don't recall."
"RECALL DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"
"What does that even mean?"
"I DON'T KNOW!" Jubilee said before I opened the door now with the shorts on.
"So do you only have two modes of 'cute nerd girl' and 'obnoxious little gremlin'?" I asked her.
"Awwwww, you know me so well. Come on, jackass we gotta go. I got a volleyball game I gotta play with my friends."
"Volleyball? Got room for one more?"
"Depends. Do you suck?"
"No."
"Are you being honest?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"My interest is fleeting."
"Alright fine you can play! But if you suck I'm probably never talking to you again for the rest of my life."
"You sure you can keep that claim?"
"Pfft, what, you think I need you? Don't oversell your importance."
"Alright, fine. I can always see what Rogue is doing at the party."
"Hey hold on don't do that!" Jubilee immediately objected. I couldn't help but smirk.
"I thought what I did wasn't that important?"
"Well I mean you really wanna spend a pool party with Rogue? She doesn't even go into the water!"
